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State of the Baxil, 2010/01 - Baxil [bakh-HEEL'], n. My Sites [Tomorrowlands] [The TTU Wiki] [Photos]
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January 20th, 2010
07:23 pm
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State of the Baxil, 2010/01
Time for the semi-regular check-in! Department heads, report!

Dept. of Upcoming Events: "We are pleased to report that Baxil will be at Furcon over the weekend! Though he is arriving Friday night, your best chance to catch him will be Saturday or Sunday."

CFO's Office: "We look forward to not being perpetually broke. Someday."

Dept. of Video Games: "We were prepared to write off Final Fantasy XII as an uninspiring time-waster, until an underleveled battle with the esper Adrammelech that we won with 2 bleeding characters with a combined total of 200 HP (a 98%+ loss). It got our pulse pounding in ways that an FF game hasn't in years. Haste? Curaga? A Jedi needs not these things, only a desperation Quickening with two crippled, out-of-MP characters."

Dept. of Writing: "Our long-term plan remains to edit 'The Time In Her Eye.' However, recent interdepartmental transfers to VG and RP have left us short-staffed. Yes, VG, we're looking at you." (*pointed glare*)

Dept. of Muses: "Oh, hey. Did you know that the classical Japanese syllabary -- their equivalent of our 'ABCs' -- is a poem about mortality?"

Dept. of Relationships: "Though our overall sector is tanking -- with three divorces in progress among various friends -- we are pleased to report that our own holdings remain solid, with year-over-year snuggles holding steady and lengthy conversations still within acceptable tracking bounds. The increase in generalized Insecurity Index from the turbulent love market is having a negative impact on plans for acquisitions, but we're tentatively pleased with overall conditions."

Dept. of Aliases: "It has been experimentally determined that Baxil's drag-queen name is 'Pashmina Opa.' However, 'Lola Licks-A-Lot' made an unexpectedly strong showing in the popular vote."

Dept. of Roleplaying, GM Division: "Christ, my Fireborn posts aren't enough?"

Dept. of Roleplaying, Non-GM Division: "Q1 2010 is shaping up to break new ground in the field of character self-maiming, thanks to early innovation from Sascha the White, Bax's variant Monk in Mike's AD&D 3.5 campaign. While under magical boost and using an ability called Decisive Strike that doubles damage, she fumbled a punch and drew a card from the fumble deck: 'The attack hits yourself and is a critical threat.' The critical was confirmed, and she rolled 49 HP out of her total of 61! If she hadn't just gained a point of Damage Resistance as a class ability (or if she didn't have cold resistance as a racial trait), she would have done 50+ HP to herself, blown the Fortitude save vs. mass trauma, and died instantly."

Dept. of Internet References: "So basically what you're saying is that Sascha pulled a Tyson Fury?"

Dept. of Roleplaying, Life-Imitates-Art Division: "So, the last Fireborn session ended with two characters being grilled by Special Inspector McSweeney after some flagrantly illegal violence. The characters feigned ignorance; he had nothing solid to pin on them, so he gave them a verbal warning and let them walk away. The first thing that happened after Bax wrapped up game and left for home? He got pulled over by a cop for going over the speed limit. He feigned ignorance, so the cop gave him a verbal warning for 10-over and let him walk away. Bax reports being very glad he decided to let the characters off the hook."

Dept. of Spirituality: "Every time the staff meeting reaches consensus about whether to say anything on the topic of Na'vi Otherkin, someone gets cold feet and drags us back into deliberations again. Fortunately, though productivity is down, staff morale is high due to the joint project with RP/GM."

Dept. of Email Answering: "The few staff members who weren't decimated by November's meteor impact have either quit, given up in disgust, or perished in valiant holding actions against the mutant cockroach raiders. We're currently desperately seeking staff. Pay is low, morale is nonexistent, the backlog is an OSHA hazard and we're bleeding goodwill like a sword cut in a samurai movie. In other words, business as usual."

Current Location: ~/Brainstorm
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Rick Astley, "Never Gonna Give You Up"
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(19 comments | Leave a comment)

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[User Picture]
From:krinndnz
Date:January 21st, 2010 04:27 am (UTC)
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You and your active inner life! :D
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From:kadyg
Date:January 21st, 2010 05:21 am (UTC)
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Try living with it.
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From:baxil
Date:January 21st, 2010 05:21 pm (UTC)
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Hey, you knew what you were getting into when you married a fictional character.
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From:dragonzuela
Date:January 21st, 2010 05:56 am (UTC)
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Oh, good! I'm going to be there and have been a little nervous about not knowing many people. I think I'm getting there Friday afternoon and leaving Sunday whenever I get bored or worried about falling asleep at the wheel.
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From:baxil
Date:January 21st, 2010 07:00 pm (UTC)
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It'll be good to see you again!

Standard con advice for people who are new to the process: Once you get there, get your bearings, and register, go through the conbook/program and find a bunch of events that catch your interest. There should be a bunch of interesting panels, dances if you're the dancey type, the Masquerade/Fursuit Parade if you like to ogle the costumes, etc.

Circle a bunch and give yourself a tentative "schedule" -- if you meet friends, expect your plans to change, but if you find yourself alone, then you'll still have something nifty to go see. (Plan to take a pass through the Dealer's Room and Art Show, too; but save those for the times when you have nothing else scheduled, because they're going to be the same no matter when you go.)

I'd also recommend finding at least one dragon-themed panel*, simply because of the crowd it attracts; you may find yourself recognizing the names of fellow attendees even if you've never met in person. Of such chance encounters are nifty conversations and connections made!

* (Warning: The adult dragon panel is Exactly What It Says On The Tin. It also plays to a very large, tightly packed room.)
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From:dragonzuela
Date:January 21st, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC)
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Yeah, there's a bunch of spirituality stuff that I plan to go to tomorrow afternoon, and then the dragon panel Saturday evening. I think that I will not be at the adult dragon panel... not really my thing.
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From:siege
Date:January 22nd, 2010 07:16 am (UTC)
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Any other cons you might attend this year? I'm already planning on Morphicon (since I know many Ohiofurs) and DragonCon (based on a few people who did attend).
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From:baxil
Date:January 22nd, 2010 05:20 pm (UTC)
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Sadly, between being the only employee of a small office (vacations are difficult) and supporting a wife with student loans (budget is limited), I don't get to cons much.

Pantheacon in San Jose, CA in February is a go.

Baycon in San Jose, CA is usually a go, but due to the staff walkout this year (which includes large swaths of the newsletter team and many other friends), I may simply stay home out of solidarity.
[User Picture]
From:natetg
Date:January 21st, 2010 01:41 pm (UTC)

Lost Phone Numbers

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Due to circumstances well within my control, but that were poorly managed, I've lost your phone number. Please drop me a line sometime.
[User Picture]
From:baxil
Date:January 21st, 2010 07:04 pm (UTC)

Re: Lost Phone Numbers

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Done.
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From:elynne
Date:January 21st, 2010 02:14 pm (UTC)
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Hee! I like this update style, I'd steal it but your inner life is much more active than mine. :P Also: given the Recent Upheavals (TM), are you planning on working BC?
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From:baxil
Date:January 21st, 2010 07:12 pm (UTC)
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The Recent Upheavals (tm) would have made a larger impact on me if I hadn't already resigned my 2010 newsletter position as of "5 minutes after Baycon 2009." My heart just wasn't in the work last year, and I voluntarily withdrew because I didn't want to have '10 be another year of burnout in which I had a difficult time pulling my weight for a staff that I like and respect.

So basically, wild horses couldn't drag me into staffing this year's Baycon, for reasons that have nothing to do with the RU(tm). However, whether I'm attending BC10 is going to be very much contingent on how the fallout from the RU(tm) goes. If the jackal pack and a lot of my staff friends decline to attend, I have a whole lot less incentive to go.
From:aknitwit
Date:January 21st, 2010 11:20 pm (UTC)
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You're listening to WHAT???
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From:baxil
Date:January 22nd, 2010 01:14 am (UTC)
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I really, actually was! Never mind that I just Rickrolled my readership ...
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From:zefirodragon
Date:January 26th, 2010 08:51 am (UTC)
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Hi, Baxil

We met at FC last weekend. Was very nice to meet you in person. I actually did find your homepage (and the draconity FAQ) many years back, read "Birth of a Dragon", and it had some influence on my life. Though afterwards I concentrated on the German fandom and must admit, completely forgot to check for updates. So it was a pleasant surprise to be reminded you still exist :)

I'd love to talk to you a bit. Especially how you view draconity today. Oh, and I can fully understand you leaving the "Dragon Panel". That thing was... strange. (And I took a short look at the "Adult Dragon Panel" - from the door, the room was filled to capacity, and you were right - they were just showing porn!)
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From:baxil
Date:January 27th, 2010 02:52 am (UTC)
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It was good to meet you too!

I got a phone call at the dragon panel that I had to return, and got distracted by friends before I could come back. I guess I didn't miss much, though. :-P

I still take my draconity quite seriously -- I've written a fair amount related to it, but this essay is probably the most directly relevant.
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From:zefirodragon
Date:January 27th, 2010 11:55 pm (UTC)
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I left not too long afterwards. This panel was not... well, I actually didn't expect anything particular, but it didn't cater to me at all. It really sounded like "who has the best, most interesting phantasy character with unusual features and weird background story". And it was always this one girl. I purposefully toned my character down, portray it just as much as I can identify with it and try to not powerplay.

I found out I'm not really that spiritual (I tried a bit, searched around, after finding your and also a German Draconity FAQ years ago, but found nothing inside, probably I'm just too scientific in my mind), but try to be respectful and also more often curious about it than I should be if there really wouldn't be anything, as the logical part of my brain insists on. I still strongly identify with my character, and refuse to "create" him or create background stories which would be pure fiction.

Funnily, when I asked (I think you already left?) who actually identifies with their dragons instead of "just taking them as roleplay character", most (at least two third) rose their hands - this girl also wanting to, but only daring to half-rise her. This felt so weird... I left shortly afterwards, convinced this panel was not the right one for me.
(Don't know how much difference it would have made if it wasn't scheduled against the Masquerade, the room had about 40 ppl, if I recall correctly, which isn't that few)


Ah, well, I don't know what to think of it...
(though I have to admit, furry and kin always seems to be quite separated and I felt more openly welcome and thus more 'at home' in the furry community)

*reading your linked essay*
I very much like this explanation.
I searched for "hints" (let alone "proofs") for some time, but was unable to find them. Still, pretending to see myself as draconic just feels 'right' somehow. Though I've come to an agreement between this emotion and the rational part of my brain that I'm just phantasizing / imagining this - but it's ok that I do it. It feels I've... "lost" is wrong, as I never actually found it, but helps me functioning correctly in this human-only society.

Ah, well... I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Perhaps I'd like to talk with you about this. Perhaps get some thoughts. Or approval? Those thoughts keep coming up whenever I meet someone from the more spiritual side.

Hope I'm not bothering you too much. LJ is probably the wrong place for this.
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From:baxil
Date:February 3rd, 2010 06:34 am (UTC)
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It's not a problem, I just have been playing catch-up more than usual since the con (especially since I've got Pantheacon in a little over a week, after which my schedule clears up again).

I think the most important part of what you said is that you're okay with the way you're handling your identity. Everybody tells stories about themselves -- and at some level, whether our story about our identity is "right" in some objective sense isn't as important as whether the story helps us improve ourselves. It's important that the story is true, in the sense that we shouldn't lie to ourselves about our capabilities and desires, but there are plenty of things that are true that can't be proven. :)

Let me know if you've got more thoughts on this -- I may not be quick to respond, but I'll try to contribute what I can.
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From:zefirodragon
Date:February 4th, 2010 12:32 am (UTC)
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Thanks for your answer.

This is a hard topic for me to touch. Everytime I touch it, I feel insecure - especially since I do it whenever I cross paths with more spiritual persons, whom I suspect know themselves better, the (non-scientific) world better, more than I at least, and perhaps ARE more than I am... so I feel both curious, wondering whether there is more, whether I am more, or I'm just falsly phantasizing things whereas those others actually are different. In other times, in my "normal life", I tend to just ignore those questions, and continue everyday life - which is full enough of stuff to do and think about.

I'd perhaps like to talk more about it, though I tend to be too unreliable for e.g. email communication. After some mails I don't know what more to say and then refrain from answering. Not good at smalltalk and such I am.
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