Because, yes, geek sex discussions ARE funny - Baxil [bakh-HEEL'], n.
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Because, yes, geek sex discussions ARE funny|The article
itself is nothing special, and most of the comments are of the outraged and/or defensive variety, but this comment excerpt made me laugh out loud:"How does a sexually oriented magic-using character cast spells in combat? Does he/she have to masturbate, and would it provoke an attack of opportunity?"
I can just imagine
the rules argument around the gaming table over the "does hostile masturbation provoke an attack of opportunity?" bit. I think I could make a case for both sides, although it seems obvious to me that the answer is "yes." Any AD&D geek out there want to engage in a little absurd performance art and debate the point?
Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: I need a userpic for "weird horny geek stuff."
|Date:||May 11th, 2003 12:25 pm (UTC)|| |
I just want to say - "Hostile masturbation" = eeeeewwwwwww.
And yeah, I would imagine that masturbating in combat would provoke an attack of opportunity, unless you made your concentration skill check. Or maybe there's a feat for that. The "Easily Aroused" feat. :D
|Date:||May 11th, 2003 01:18 pm (UTC)|| |
And a sex magician with high Charisma would invoke the need for the enemy to make a saving throw vs. enchantment, I think, assuming they were of compatible species (or you had a xenophilic enemy... it could happen).
Concur. Modifier for physical beauty. If different sexes, additional modifier based on racial relations and experience (obviously, someone who had grokked a member of a different race would be slightly more inclined)
|Date:||May 12th, 2003 06:34 am (UTC)|| |
Just as long as we don't start traveling into FATAL
(Link is not brain-safe.)
|Date:||May 12th, 2003 05:33 am (UTC)|| |
Okay. Just playing devil's advocate here, I'm going to stipulate that for most people (note: most
people, certainly not including everyone participating in this thread), masturbation is a one-handed job, and -- let's face it -- a pretty repetitive and simple task.
The point of concentration checks is that a mage is moving around vast amounts of potentially deadly energy, using zir will to bend the shape of the universe. Whereas someone who's combat masturbating is basically, shall we say, merely readying the material components.
Furthermore, since masturbation can be assumed to generally be a one-handed endeavour (if AD&D had an advantage/disadvantage or merit/flaw system, I'd recommend putting "ponderous size" in one of the two columns), the other hand can hold a weapon to defend oneself with, thus transforming combat masturbation from an action requiring focus to the sort of miscellaneous action (like talking, five-foot steps, etc) that is considered negligible in terms of combat effects.
|Date:||May 12th, 2003 12:25 pm (UTC)|| |
I don't know about guys, but for girls, masturbating does require a certain amount of concentration - otherwise, nothing happens. In that way, it's a lot like any other method of readying a spell: chanting, making arcane gestures, fiddling with material components. There's a reason why you have to make a concentration check to do that stuff in combat, even if you're "only" chanting, and thus have both hands "free": because what you're doing requires that you pay close attention to what you're doing. If you screw it up, nothing happens (or worse, something else happens). So on top of the basic requirement of getting off (would you get as potent *coff* of a result without achieving orgasm?), there's the additional requirement of focusing your mind to make sure the spell, uh, goes off.
I think it depends on the male. I know just the plain physical activity doesn't quite make it; I need my imagination painting a story of some type as well.
Okay, I'm odd; never denied it. :)
|Date:||May 11th, 2003 04:59 pm (UTC)|| |
Since I've been dealing with a White Wolf game recently, I'll add these...
Sexual Mage - 3 point Flaw. Requiring arousal as the focus of your abilities, all your cantrips require twice as long to perform.
Add-on to Sexual Mage: Multiple-Capable - 2 point Merit. However, once you do reach climax, you tend to hit it again, and again, and again... Roll Willpower (difficulty 8), and add your successes to the cantrip roll every time you perform a cantrip.
Premature - 1 point Flaw. Never quite able to reach a state of climax, you reach a premature ending before you even start. After such an ending, you must roll Willpower (difficulty ranges from 6 to a chance encounter, to 9 with a dream partner) or suffer a depression that lasts for 1-3 days. Taken along with Sexual Mage, this becomes a 2 point Flaw.
Also, I'd like to note that Magic Missile's casting time for sexual mages would suddenly become very prohibitive. But it sure as hell would be fun to watch. *grin*
|Date:||May 12th, 2003 06:37 am (UTC)|| |
Given that "time to climax" is basically the casting time of sex magic spells, I don't think "premature" should be considered a Flaw for sex mages. The rules lawyers would be all over it. "Hey, my spells all take half as long to cast, AND I get free points? Cool!"
Given the effect standard "premature" sexual events have on one's sexual partners are - er - diminished, I would allow this flaw with the note that any 'premature' spell release would diminish its power by a multiple proportional to the square of the time they were premature. IOW, if they 'finish' in half the time, the spell would have 1/4 effect. Two-thirds of the time - 4-ninths of the effects.
You get the idea.
|Date:||May 13th, 2003 03:09 am (UTC)|| |
Works for me.
One question about that suggestion:
The first time that a sex mage with the "Premature" flaw casts "magic missile," gets a reduced effect, and does less than one point of damage -- do you round up, round down, or point and snicker?
And what sort of morale penalties would that have for both sides?
|Date:||May 13th, 2003 01:33 pm (UTC)|| |
Re: Works for me.
Standar rounding methods would apply. And I would anticipate many comments about getting shafted along with quiet snickers about shortcomings.
And I agree that morale would likely be affected. I could even see everyone involved stopping to take a long, pitying look at the sex mage before continuing the battle.
“Play at home” games are seeing a resurgence. Recent news articles have pointed to a new desire for entertainment that brings people together and allows them to interact face to face. The impersonality of the computer interface is being rejected in favor of the inviting warmth of the living room or kitchen table.
This particular quote from the article is much, much funnier if you suppose they are referring to erotic fantasy rather than D&D itself.
|Date:||May 12th, 2003 06:38 am (UTC)|| |
OMG. *giggle* I didn't even notice that.
the combat system's motto
"Make love /and/ war. At the same time."
Sexuality and sex are related, but not necessarily one and the same. I, for one, believe that there can be a great deal of sexuality (and sexual heat) without getting into the physical act; indeed, potentially moreso.
Example: a female sexmage in a combat situation drops away her heavy cloak, revealing a silken garment which hints at a great deal. Then, she begins a variant of a belly dance, complete with little finger cymbols, which compose the three components (semantic, material, verbal) of a "dazzle" spell equivalent. Opposing males must make ST vs Wisdom or lose their action and dexterity bonuses. (watching with jaws hanging open will do that). Opposing females get a +2 unless their orientation would make them interested, in which case normal ST applies.
Of course, if the castor was male, something appropriate would be applied, although I don't think it would be that different.
Now that sounds more like a bard ability, or would there be some sort of bard/wizard/sorcerer sub class of nymphomancer? Or a Prestige class maybe?
I know in "The Book of Vile Darkness"(tm) there's a feat called "lich love" involving the practice of perverted(as opposed to unperverted?) sexual acts with a corpse for power and abilities. Maybe there are vitaphile equivalents.
|Date:||May 12th, 2003 06:45 am (UTC)|| |
called "lich love"? A FEAT
called "lich love"?
From a rules-mechanic point of view, that's just wrong in every way imaginable.
"Yeah, I was just born with this ingrained talent for necrophilia. I've never had the chance to commit perverted sexual acts for power and skills, but if we ever find a dead body to commit carnal acts with, I'm so there."
By repeatedly commiting perverted sex acts with the undead, the character gains dread powers
Prerequisite: Evil Brand
Benefit: Mindless undead see the character as an undead creature. Becomming more and more like an actual undead creature, they gain a +1 circumstance bonus on saving throws against mind-affecting effects, poison, sleep, paralysis, stunning, and disease
|Date:||May 13th, 2003 03:05 am (UTC)|| |
That is ridiculously wrong. Repeated acts of perverted sex with undead fiends and all you get to show for it is +1 to several saving throws?!? Man, if the deal was "screw undead in exchange for mighty powers," I'd at least hold out for Cleave or Empower Spell or something. Then my teammates wouldn't snicker at me behind my back.