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July 15th, 2003
06:43 am
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As a point of interest
There is an optional mission in "Grand Theft Auto: Vice City" which requires you to watch a scantily-clad exotic dancer sway in front of you -- complete with dramatic and enticing camera angles -- for, I shit you not, a full, consecutive ten minutes.

When I reached that part of the game, I set the controller down and left the room.

When I came back, all four of my (also male) roommates were clustered around the TV -- staring in disbelief at it and making occasional mocking one-liners. It took them less than thirty seconds of watching to agree that I'd made the right decision in getting up to fix some dinner.

It's a brilliant and enjoyable game, groundbreaking in many ways and exceptionally polished in most respects; but, good lord, the graphic design in that particular segment must have been done by trained monkeys.

Gay ones.

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From:aki_dreaming
Date:July 15th, 2003 08:34 am (UTC)

So much for Shakespeare

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Hereby putting forth the theory that given an infinite amount of time, computers and coffee 1,000,000 gay monkeys could accomplish what exactly?
From:noitaroproc
Date:July 15th, 2003 08:36 am (UTC)

Re: So much for Shakespeare

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They could press the letter 's' a lot.
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From:philrancid
Date:July 15th, 2003 03:50 pm (UTC)

Re: So much for Shakespeare

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Super Mario Kart.
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From:baxil
Date:July 16th, 2003 03:20 am (UTC)

Re: So much for Shakespeare

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Dash Galaxy in the Alien Asylum, which I actually played through to the finish, once upon a time. I was mentally screwed up as a kid. (I haven't gotten much better, but I have better taste in video games. ... Except that I played through Orphen a few months ago. Err, never mind.)
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From:aki_dreaming
Date:July 18th, 2003 12:26 am (UTC)

Re: So much for Shakespeare

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Fair enough.
From:noitaroproc
Date:July 15th, 2003 08:36 am (UTC)
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Yep...video game strippers have a long ways to go.
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From:mister_pixley
Date:July 15th, 2003 10:55 am (UTC)
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Give the 3D Realms team a case of beer and a stack of Playboys, and I think we'd have a start.
From:noitaroproc
Date:July 15th, 2003 11:16 am (UTC)
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Apparently Duke Nukem Forever's strippers will be pure eyecandy.
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From:mister_pixley
Date:July 15th, 2003 01:35 pm (UTC)
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Gentlemen - to evil.

::toasts::
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From:taral
Date:July 15th, 2003 09:02 am (UTC)
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I don't get it.
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From:baxil
Date:July 16th, 2003 03:28 am (UTC)
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Let's say Isaac Asimov, bless his soul, came back from the dead and wrote a new novel. Everyone buys it because it's a really good novel. It is, in fact, fan-fucking-tastic, because Isaac Asimov is a SF god and one of the twentieth century's greatest writers.


Now let's say that you get engrossed after a night of reading, and at 4 a.m. you flip to Chapter 24, and all of a sudden it's a soft-core porn scene between the two main characters, and it reads like it was ghostwritten by a fanboy you vaguely recall the name of, having once stumbled across "Leather Tights Of Fury: The ULTIMATE Xena Vs. Buffy Crossover!" somewhere in a back alley of the 'net.


So, it's kind of like that. In the middle of an otherwise great game there's a mission that forces you to watch TEN MINUTES STRAIGHT of not only cheesecake, but badly animated cheesecake that doesn't even do the job it's supposed to do, i.e. be arousing. It is, in fact, so utterly a waste of time that you briefly consider sticking the game disc in the microwave, before remembering how much fun you've had up until then.


Basically.

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From:tysharina
Date:July 15th, 2003 12:46 pm (UTC)
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Hmm, I've not reached that part of the game yet but if thats what I have to look forward(?) to I might not bother trying to get there!
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From:baxil
Date:July 16th, 2003 03:35 am (UTC)
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Optional mission. Just don't buy the Pole Position Club -- which you don't need to do to finish the game, and doesn't even help you all that much toward winning -- and you don't have to deal with anything that dreadful. There may be story missions that hint at such incredibly banal and gratuitous content, but I haven't found any yet.
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From:chezmax
Date:July 15th, 2003 01:49 pm (UTC)
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Hahha, yeah, that 'mission' is silly. They got a lot of flak for it. It was amusing for a bit, then did something else until it was done. :)
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From:philrancid
Date:July 15th, 2003 03:49 pm (UTC)
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that's an actual Mission? Good thing I already have a nice personal system for when I screw up something like that. Drive around for a bit with the stereo blasting, running over people to see how many will fly through the air--or maybe just run down to the mall and cut people's heads off till I've made a thousand bucks--or sometimes I like to go Starkweather, and see how long it takes for the feds to bring me down...
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From:philrancid
Date:July 15th, 2003 03:49 pm (UTC)

Oh yeah...

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Whizzah Baxil!
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From:baxil
Date:July 16th, 2003 03:37 am (UTC)

Re: Oh yeah...

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Whizzah! I suspect, from our friends list crossover, you're someone I should recognize from years back, but I can't match a nick with your LJ information. Any hints?
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From:philrancid
Date:July 16th, 2003 05:56 am (UTC)

Re: Oh yeah...

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Actually I'm just someone from OurPlace, who is tracking down all the voices I had to go without. I'm simply someone who stumbled across Lonita one day, and started following her about and meeting new people.
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From:zxizaraxii
Date:July 15th, 2003 04:24 pm (UTC)
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I've never actually played that game. ^^;
From:raki
Date:July 15th, 2003 06:07 pm (UTC)
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I tell you, that stuff will rot your brain.
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