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October 4th, 2003
03:09 pm
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Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh, my lump in the bed, how I’ve missed you.
Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too
Barney’s still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.

-- President George W. Bush


ALRIGHT. DID YOU VOTE FOR THIS MAN? DID ANY OF YOU VOTE FOR THIS MAN?!? YOU OWE THE WORLD AN APOLOGY. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Edit: If you're too lazy to click the link -- This is NOT SATIRE. Yes, this is REAL. This is COMPLETELY VERBATIM. Link via This Modern World, and independently verified via the Associated Press wire.

Much, much later edit: Never mind. :P See this for further explanation.

Current Mood: Utterly speechless
Current Music: Wavelength, "The Other Side"
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(30 comments | Leave a comment)

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From:eredien
Date:October 4th, 2003 03:22 pm (UTC)
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If you are a head of state, you don't refer to Chirac as "that charming French guy." You just don't.

This confirms all my worst suspiscions.
I say this half in jest.
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From:baxil
Date:October 4th, 2003 04:02 pm (UTC)
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The "charming French guy" stanza, actually, was the one I found the least offensive. Somehow -- beginner's luck? -- he actually managed to fall into proper iambic meter, and maintain it all the way through.

If the rest weren't so unspeakably gawdawful, he might even show some promise. But this is the sort of stuff one writes as parody, and the context makes it clear IT ISN'T.

It's been said before by better men than I: This is the first American administration that has made political satire truly and irreparably irrelevant.
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From:thrames
Date:October 4th, 2003 03:32 pm (UTC)
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I didn't, I wasn't eligible to do so. :P
From:silussa
Date:October 4th, 2003 03:35 pm (UTC)
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Actually, I voted for the Libertarian Party candidate.

I came to the conclusion a few years ago that the two major parties have become mirror images, or at least close enough that they are equal evils.

[User Picture]
From:xiphias
Date:October 4th, 2003 06:53 pm (UTC)
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But, now that you've seen the Republican party, you've realized the error of your ways?
From:tropism
Date:October 4th, 2003 03:38 pm (UTC)
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This is where I stand and point at the innards of America, and shout, horsely, "YOU! You fuckers! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Also, for something related, stolen from ~blackmanxy, stolen from somewhere else...

"See, in our country, we have a two-party system; my party is the Stupid Party, and the other party is the Evil Party. Sometimes my guys are in power and we get a lot of stupid legislation; sometimes the other guys are in power and we get a lot of evil legislation. Sometimes both parties are in power and we get what's called 'gridlock,' where nothing particularly stupid or evil gets done. But occasionally the parties get together in what we call 'bipartisanship,' where we pass something that's both stupid and evil . . . ."
From:raki
Date:October 4th, 2003 03:42 pm (UTC)
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That's fucking painful. At least our PM was savvy enough to hire a poet when he wanted a preamble for our constitution...
[User Picture]
From:frameacloud
Date:October 4th, 2003 03:52 pm (UTC)
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After a very long search, I managed to find perhaps eight people out of about three hundred who had voted for him. Those eight are all related, talk loudly and proudly of how they voted for Bush Sr too, and how one of their kids is/was out there being Bush's bodyguard. They are fanatics. That family is alarmingly wealthy, and has been longtime friends with the Gates family.

Honest to God. I know these people.

They're extremely weird, but not in a /fun/ way. Most of them are of ordinary intelligence, too, but overly concerned with popularity, fashions, and money.
[User Picture]
From:baxil
Date:October 4th, 2003 04:31 pm (UTC)

It still hurts. It still hurts

(Link)
But at least I'm feeling a little better after putting the Cat Town special radio episode, "The Pie," on repeat play for half an hour straight.

I highly recommend it as cognitive dissonance therapy.
From:noitaroproc
Date:October 4th, 2003 05:21 pm (UTC)
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MY GOD!

Bush is a poetic genius!

o.o!

...

XD BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *explode*
[User Picture]
From:elynne
Date:October 4th, 2003 06:06 pm (UTC)
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ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow *wince*

Also, thank you Noitaproc for that user picture that will now be forever BURNED INTO MY MIND. Bastard.
From:raki
Date:October 4th, 2003 08:52 pm (UTC)
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Yes, that is some unforgettable userpic.
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From:ironychan
Date:October 4th, 2003 06:30 pm (UTC)
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*waves a flag and whistles O Canada*
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From:circumspectly
Date:October 4th, 2003 08:38 pm (UTC)
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GAHHHHHHHHHHH...

and no, i did not vote for this cretin...nor would i. but you know the scariest part? laura bush thought that the world should *know* that mr. prez wrote this rubbish! they are both delusional. yes.

i came across your lj via klwalton and i've added you. i went and looked at your jewelry, which is wonderful. want. :)
[User Picture]
From:baxil
Date:October 4th, 2003 08:42 pm (UTC)
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Thanks for the kind words. The jewelry is actually elynne -- I just give her some web space on my site. :) Definitely drop her a line. I'm sure she'd be happy to do a commission.
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From:sebboi
Date:October 5th, 2003 03:02 am (UTC)

Ahem...

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I will just point... and point again.

Bush is... He's... He makes me sooooo....

Aw fuck it.

Vote people.
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From:kistaro
Date:October 5th, 2003 03:09 pm (UTC)
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Okay, maybe I shouldn't feel so bad at my abortive attempts at structured poetry.
From:votania
Date:October 5th, 2003 11:31 pm (UTC)

Canada's looking good right now

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be afraid...be very afraid...

why?

because this is the man in control of our livelyhood.

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From:unless_you
Date:October 6th, 2003 03:27 am (UTC)
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I can't wait to see what The Daily Show does with this tonight.
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From:tsears
Date:October 8th, 2003 03:50 pm (UTC)
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werd
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