Friends

08:37 pm
ebondragon

[Link]

Holiday Gift Suggestion: Poenix Fire Designs
Just passing along a great website for handmade jewelry. Phoenix Fire Designs Whether you are looking for earrings, bracelets, necklaces or even whimsical fantasy "horns" the designs presented are lovely, original, and very affordable. So if you are looking for something unique to put on your holiday gift wish list, or looking for something unique to give to someone special, check it out!

Clow Card Instruction Manual translation, incomplete

05:34 pm
waywind

[Link]

A few days ago, I started trying to translate the Cardcaptor Sakura Clow Card Instruction Manual from Japanese into English.

Then, I found out that somebody else had already translated a different, longer book on the same topic (links and information on that are below). Apparently I don't need to translate this after all, and it was distracting from other things that I need to do, such as NaNoWriMo. So I think I'm going to just drop this translation project right where it is... I don't think I'll be doing any more on it, so if you want to carry it on and finish it, you can do it yourself. This is all I've done so far: just a few pages, and all of the headings. It's OK for a couple days worth of fooling around, I guess, and it was fun. Here it is:

( Read more... )

05:21 pm
serenejournal

[Link]

Ganked from Gramina
I am having some rare downtime. I am filling it with a survey of things about me whose straight answers would be news to no one, but I've decided to try to tell something that most people wouldn't know in each answer. Alert the blogosphere -- someone's being self-referential!!

Interesting to me is the fact that in choosing something you probably won't have already heard about me, I chose a bunch of melancholy stuff. I guess that's pretty understandable; I try to keep the moaning to a minimum in my entries, as a general rule.

( but you were not spared today )

Current Mood: contemplative

Brilliant programme... give it a click
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00nyzww/Desmond_Carrington_The_Music_Goes_Round_24_11_2009/

12:42 am
r_caton

[Link]

12:15 am
r_caton

[Link]

Wed comin' up.
Wednesday, Nov 25th, 2009 -- You want less supervision at work today and, surprisingly, you might just get it. But idly dreaming about having more freedom won't necessary produce the results you desire. You'll need to ask for what you want and should be ready to back up your request with solid reasons. Of course, you still must meet your regular obligations or you will ruin your chances for this kind of special treatment next time around.

Legs, Laundry, paid in a Council Tax refund (YAY!)
and I've shifted a very few things.

07:05 pm
eredien

[Link]

My letter in support of fuding for the SANE program/Genderqueer Fun!
CKD wrote earlier today about his support for the SANE program. If you haven't read his blog post on it or the Boston Herald's article about the SANE program in MA, please go and read it.

Basically, the SANE program provides nurses that have been specially trained to help all rape survivors emotionally while still giving compassionate medical care and getting forensic evidence. Their budget is getting cut 66% in the proposed 2010 FY budget, which means that services will be halved by mid-December and cut entirely by January. This is a proven program (12 years) with a track record of not only providing medical care and emotional support for the raped, but also many convictions for rapists. Without this program, many rape victims in MA would have to do what rape victims in many other states do: wait in the ER for many hours to be eventually seen by harried, busy ER healthcare personnel with little to no specalized training in providing compassionate care for rape victims specifically.

There is more info at the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center's website, along with info on how to find your MA state rep. or senator.

There are also some other bills under consideration by the MA House and Sentate:
- Having to do with getting restraining orders against stalkers who are not related to you or who have not been in a relationship with you.
- Making it easier for people who have suffered rape, sexual assault, or rape in the home to do things like change locks or break their lease without penalty if they have to move for their own safety.
- Protecting gender expression or identity in state law in the same way that race, religion, or disability is now protected against discrimination under state law.

I have to admit, I now feel that creating endless categories of people for whom discrimination is a problem, and then enshrining those categories in law is not the best solution, or even a possible solution, to the problem of bias/discrimination, since there will constantly be new categories being created (thanks for suggesting a sane solution to the problem that protects minorities as well as majorities, "Covering!") But I would also like my fiancee

rax not to get fired from her job, and I would like to feel safe going to the grocery store as a genderqueer woman. So, I wrote this letter:

( Dear Representative Provost )

Then, I wrote another letter to my mom about it. My mom is a healthcare worker for the county in which I grew up. She cried when she found out I was queer and told me it was her fault and that I should never get married and should try to date boys because I was bi and it was easier, but threw condoms at people during Woodstock '99 and told us about STDs over the dinner table and threw an engagement party for me and

rax and my sister and her fiance this year after reading Ellen's mother's book (yeah, that's my mom). I don't know if she knows people in MA who are involved in healthcare, government, and politics, who might be able to read my letter to her and actually get something moving with any of these bills, but I wrote her anyway, because if she did, and she has a higher chance of it than me, then it was better than not writing to her.

And I told her about the other bills, and did a little arrow, like this, <, next to the Gender identity bill, and said "this would really help me and my friends." And then I deleted "me." And then I added it back in again, and sighed, and said, "oh God, now she's really going to worry about me," and then I thought, "well, better she know what to worry about and be able to help with the actual problems I am having than manufacture things to worry about that aren't real." (yeah, that's my mom.)

And then I pressed send, because if I can write to Representative Provost and tell her I am genderqueer, then I can write to my mom and tell her the same thing, and arguably should.

I dunno if I'm going to regret this decision. I dunno if she's even going to notice the litte arrow and the one line of text. I dunno what I am going to say if she calls me and says, "so does this mean you're really a boy?" and start crying or if my dad is like, "why do you do these things to hurt your mother?"

But I know that even if they don't understand and can't accept my position, or hold another position, or think falsely that I took the position I did deliberately to hurt them, better for me to say what my position is--truthfully--so that I can start talking with them about why I make the decisions I make, and how their decisions affect me and how my decisions affect them, so we can start to talk, and recognize that we can talk and love each other even if--especially if--we disagree, and that love is stronger than that disagreement. I guess I feel that if the disagreement goes unacknowledged out of fear of hurting them by disagreeing, then I'm hurting them anyway, because then I feel like I can't disagree with them on anything, and am lying to them about my position and its effects besides. If my positions are strong enough, they will stand up to disagreement, and if they are not, then I ought to decide how and why I will change them, especially if it's at the behest of my loved ones.

I kinda want to call her and I kinda don't. I also have to ask her to please stop nicknaming me. Maybe I should just call.

Current Mood: intimidated
Tags: gender, health, hunting deer, politics, queer

11:49 pm
balinares

[Link]

Torchwood.
I don't usually follow Torchwood, but this evening I came across the Children Of Earth arc, all five episodes played in a row.

... Dude. So that's what happens when the Doctor is not there. I'm traumatized.

Quite coincidentally, I'm now off to kill off a main character. The never-ending joys of November.

03:45 pm
mr_silvers

[Link]

I uh ...
( You are about to view content that may only be appropriate for adults. )

10:45 pm
quen_elf

[Link]

I got Resident Evil: Darkside Chronicles yesterday. It’s good so far - if you liked the first one, more of the same but possibly a bit prettier. I’m having trouble with the end boss (er... I hope...) in the first scenario, which has reminded me of that well-worn moral relevant in the first game: ‘If at first you don’t succed, go back and replay the earlier chapters to get more cash so you can upgrade your weapons.’ Hmmm... maybe these proverb things were shorter and sweeter in the pre-digital age...

02:33 pm
heron61

[Link]

The continuing gender gap in wages
Here's a troubling article about how the gender-based wage gap perpetuates when more women move into a professional field. The most striking point is:

"The same gap is often seen within engineering itself. Bioengineering has been growing to the point where we could see a 50/50 split of women and men majoring, and there have been some reports of salary staying flat or going down. Engineering fields where women are less than 20 percent pay more." Arreola says more study is needed to conclusively determine a cause for this pattern, but the implication is chilling: Once women break into a field in noteworthy numbers, its value goes down.

Here's one particular explanation for how this occurs,

One possible explanation for the average pay going down in fields with more women is that the ladies aren't negotiating their salaries as assertively as men do -- but then, why is that again? Well, there were those studies that showed, as Harvard public policy professor Hannah Riley Bowles put it, "[M]en were always less willing to work with a woman who had attempted to negotiate than with a woman who did not. They always preferred to work with a woman who stayed mum. But it made no difference to the men whether a guy had chosen to negotiate or not." So if men are doing the hiring, women might be less willing to push for a higher salary, for fear of not getting the job at all or being penalized in other ways once they do, while men are free to ask for more with no consequences.

However, it seems clear that there's more than this going on, and what we have in part at least is the visible result of the still widespread assumption that a field with a significant percentage of women in it is a field that is no longer as deserving of high wages.

Current Mood: busy

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

02:31 pm
targaff

[Link]

Dear claimant,

You might want to learn to spell your job title, bookeeper just sounds funny.

Ta,

Graham

http://slacktivist.typepad.com/slacktivist/2009/11/toxic-smugness.html

01:59 pm
slacktivist

[Link]

Toxic smugness

Hey kids! It's time to play "Stupid? Or Evil?"

Today's contestant is Chuck Colson:

"If someone walks in our church and says, 'You preach a sermon on [homosexuality], we're going to arrest you as a violation of the hate crimes,' then they'll have to arrest us."

I'm going to have to go with "Evil" here. Colson knows this is utter nonsense. He's enjoying the posture of self-aggrandizing bravado, but he knows full well that hate crimes has nothing to do with his fantasies about Gay Stormtroopers invading churches.

Colson knows that he's spinning falsehoods here. He knows that what he is saying is not true, but he has chosen to bear false witness. He's deliberately lying about the aims of his political opponents, portraying them through the lens of a paranoid fantasy concocted and refined to appeal to those who are prone to such paranoid fantasies. He is lying about the supposed evil of others to stroke his own pride and luxuriate in the feeling of righteousness it gives him.

And that's pretty much evil. Evil means (bearing false witness) in service of evil ends (pride). For bonus points, this is all done in God's name -- so add in the evil of blasphemy too.

In a single sentence, Colson manages to break three out of 10 commandments. Not a record, but still impressive.

For another look at the same sordid stew of toxic smugness, see Kathryn Joyce's disturbing look at the "Men's Rights" movement: "Men's Rights Groups Have Become Frighteningly Effective."

Joyce discusses, among many other things, the way "Men's Rights Advocates" abuse or invent statistics to try to show that women abuse men with the same frequency and intensity that men abuse women. She cites Portland State University professor Jack Straton on this disingenuous research:

“The biggest concern, though, is not the wasted effort on a false issue,” writes Straton, but the encouragement given to batterers to consider themselves the victimized party. “Arming these men with warped statistics to fuel their already warped worldview is unethical, irresponsible and quite simply lethal.”

That "encouragement given to batterers to consider themselves the victimized party" is not a bug, but a feature of this research. It's what this research was intended and designed to produce.

It exists, in other words, to fulfill precisely the same function that Colson's lying about the Gay Gestapo exists to fulfill.

The group with the power is desperate to convince itself that it's actually powerless and persecuted. The batterers are trying to convince themselves that they are the victims of battering. The hegemons are trying to convince themselves that they are the ones threatened with legal sanctions for failing to conform.

And having almost half-convinced themselves of this, they bask in the glow of their courageous stand against such hardships, citing that courage as evidence of their moral superiority.

02:38 pm
zon14

[Link]

This is a day to kill someone.
Hokay. Got to the consignee last night in enough time to get unloaded before they closed. Did we get another load or get sent room right away?

Noooooooo... we SAT there for like 12 hours waiting for them to make up their fricking minds!

THEN they gave us a Nintendo load picking up in Sumner, to be staged at the f-ing Seattle drop yard. That's done. Did we get to go home then?

Noooooooo... They gave us a SECOND staging load, as if they didn't have enough local drivers all the fricking ready! At least IT's going to Portland.

This is the kind of shit that makes me want to wait till they've got an account riding on my performance, and THAT's when I give 'em the stiff arm "Up yours buddy!" and bugger off. Capitalism at its finest.

Current Location: Sumner, WA
Current Mood: enraged
Tags: loads from hell, truck driving, trucking

12:35 pm
krinndnz

[Link]

Stay Classy, Republicans

"First of all, I wouldn't have Thanksgiving with a bunch of liberals. People in my family know not to bring up politics. I probably know more than they do, so I hit them up with facts, not feelings. Liberals think with their hearts, not their heads. If you want to make a liberal angry, start hitting them with facts."
— Morgan Kelly, California Republican Party regional vice chairman and San Rafael businesswoman

Found in the Marin IJ's "how to survive Thanksgiving if ..." article. Apparently Ms. Kelly has been taking holiday cheer lessons from Ann Coulter. My only commentary there is that I wish Ms. Kelly a happier, friendlier, and more loving Thanksgiving than she (apparently) wishes for those around her.

Current Music: Charaka - Liquid Troll
Tags: media diet, politics

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

12:29 pm
hilarypoet

[Link]

My schedule for Sorcercon this weekend at the Doubletree San Jose
Friday
1 pm San Juan – after the Golden Age
2:30 San Simeon – there is no free lunch
4 pm San Juan – Mists over Arthur
5:30 San Juan – My God can smack down your god

Saturday
10:00 San Juan – You killed my avatar!
11:30 San Juan – Reflection of Being Human
4 pm San Juan – I’ve bought it, I own it

Sunday

10 am San Juan – Defining the Word
1 pm San Martin – Fairies in the Garden

-- Hope to see you there

11:30 am
botias

[Link]

Cat Update
So far the cat thing is working out surprisingly well. This is the invisible cat. It is a small cat with small neat paws, and its fur is mottled gray and beige. It does not meow, but makes sounds as though someone is hugging it too hard, or it chirps and trills. It does NOT wake me up by patting me on the face with just the veriest hint of claw. It has yet to puke on anything or come home with battle wounds to be patched up. It likes to be petted and scratched and has made itself disconcertingly at home. Doesn't it know we could all be serial killers? Unconcerned, it lazes on my sunny bed and catches spiders in my sunny garden. It has revealed itself to be litter trained and now stays inside at night. Regular applications of kitty kibble have turned it sleek and shiny, and Advantage has stopped the constant scratching. We have named it Jones.

(7 comments | Leave a comment)

09:30 am
mactavish

[Link]

hey look, privet berries!
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Economics and Christmas charity

09:08 am
kistaro

[Link]

Microsoft's usual low-key Christmas charity drive (that is, this is the low-key one, as opposed to the high-pressure Give campaign of last month) is a lot more depressing this year.

Every building has one of those little Christmas trees. The paper "ornaments" are actually notes, filled out by people living in poverty receiving aid from one of the charitable organizations involved in the program. The idea is that employees can take them, buy whatever is requested, and leave it (with the relevant tag) under the tree, where it will be sent back to the charity to get to the person who requested it. The other years I've been here, it's desperately poor people asking for small luxuries- things that aren't an especially big deal to your average overpaid software engineer, but are to someone living on a fixed income or just plain not enough income. A few books, board games, toys, the occasional music CD or video game, small consumer electronics- normal stuff, the luxuries that charities don't generally cover and aren't "okay" to ask for pretty much any other time of the year. Usually, the sweeping majority of the requests are from children.

This year, at least 1/3 of them come from people of retirement age, many of whom have suddenly had family move in with them because said family was foreclosed upon. And fully half the tree- including pretty much all the seniors- is asking for food. It's covered with requests for $30-$40 gift cards to QFC, Safeway, TOP, or Fred Meyer. Although there are fewer of them, now, as the requests are getting taken down and tied to $50-$100 gift cards left under the tree, except the charity keeps bringing more to replace them.

This economy sucks.

Current Location: Microsoft, building 37
Current Mood: sad
Tags: charity, economy, microsoft, poverty

So *that's* what happened to the Gummi Bears..
Why did you have to be so tragically delicious?!

11:37 am
rosefox

[Link]

"A long lonely night"
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Current Mood: awake
Tags: behavior.being a night owl, mind.dreamtime

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

07:26 am
elynne

[Link]

NaNoWriMo DERAILED
I hit 35k-ish, and realized that I was hitting a point where in order to make this particular story get to 50k words, I'd have to start throwing in stuff like ninja attacks, because I've run out of plot. And I don't want to do that. I know, the point of NNWM is to get to 50k or bust, but - I really like this story. I'd rather put it aside and let it ferment quietly, than try to force-inject silliness that I'm afraid will ruin the story for me. Of course, I've had it in my head for twenty frickin' years, I'm sure it's more resilient than that; still.

Instead, I have another story I'd like to start writing. Having missed several days while angsting about this, and likely to miss a few more here what with various circumstances and all, I'm not too worried about the 50k by Nov. 30th deadline. However, I am going to try and hold myself to a minimum of 1667 words per day.

Don't even ask me what the new story is about. I'm not sure yet, other than that the title acronyms to NACAD, and I'm going to deliberately try to write it completely exposition-free. If it doesn't make sense, I'll go back and add explanations somehow later, or rewrite it again, or something. This is in fact my second attempt at beginning this particular story; the previous attempt was also very exposition-heavy. This time, I'm tossing the main character directly into the action, even though I'm not entirely sure what that action is just yet. :D And this is the kind of story where I can have something akin to "SUDDENLY NINJAS ATTACK!!!" and make it work. Currently, I have exactly two scenes planned out. For the cast I have developed the main character, the secondary character (what do you call the other main character? Secondary prime? Main secondary? ~~Obligatory Love Interest?~~), one supporting character who is in the opening scenes, one supporting character who may or may not actually show up in the story, and one antagonist who almost certainly will show up later though I don't know how or when or why or what or stuff.

So, that's where I'm at now. Also it's my goddamn birthday. HAPPY GODDAMN BIRTHDAY TO ME. Also I'm having a root canal in a little while here. YES ON MY BIRTHDAY. ~~BEST~~ WORST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVAR.

Current Mood: anxious
Tags: announcement, birthdays, nacad, nanowrimo, news, pointless update, surreal life, word count, writing

(15 comments | Leave a comment)

09:33 am
momentrabbit

[Link]

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

11:21 pm
dewhitton

[Link]

Wild Frogs
Two spotted marsh frogs and a green tree frog holding a croak-off in my fish pond.

Marsh frogs go kuk-kuk-kuk

Green tree frog goes BROM BROM BROM BROM

http://therioshamanism.com/2009/11/24/science-and-spirituality/

10:49 am
therioshamanism

[Link]

Science and Spirituality

http://therioshamanism.com/?p=297

Recently I got into a conversation online with one of the many people who are convinced that at some point in the future, either something specific like December 21, 2012, or a more vague “When the Veils between the worlds fall”, “magic” will overcome “science”, and instead of having technology to guide us and lengthen our lifespans, we’ll all be able to shoot fireballs, heal instantly by touch, and ride dragons. Or similar things that are impossible in the current state of physics.

I’ve seen this entirely too many times in my decade and change in the pagan and Otherkin communities. Not only does it show an escapist form of wishful thinking that completely ignores the wonders and miracles inherent in the material world (I mean, come on–photosynthesis? Is totally cool.), but the argument also shows an ignorance of what science actually is.

Science does not dictate the nature of reality. No matter how much we know about, say, how physics works, we cannot change the laws of physics (as Scotty liked to remind us). We can change what we are able to do within the parameters of material reality through the understanding of that reality that science gives us. But science does not change the basic parameters of material reality.

Of course, when these people I speak of try to contrast magic and science, their general understanding of what “pure magic” is would violate the laws of physics, biology, chemistry, and just about every other science out there–if it could actually do what they claim it can do. They point to situations where magical practice has apparently done the impossible, by creating changes in physical reality that aren’t supposed to happen. Confirmation bias aside, I’m guessing that all of these can be explained ultimately through science. The explanations may not be to the satisfaction of the imaginations (and wishful thinking) of some folks, but IMO, that doesn’t make those explanations any less important for being explained through “boring” science. After all, if you get the result you wanted, what does it matter?

I know the argument would then go that belief shapes reality, and the more people believe in science, the more science changes and shapes reality. Yet that’s a fallacious argument that again shows a complete ignorance of what science is. Science is compiling information about material reality based on controlled, empirical observations of that reality. In short, it is not manipulating reality, but merely observing it and recording what is observed. If that observation changed reality every time it happened, then the observations recorded would be nowhere near as consistent as they are, even after making allowances for human error. Yes, we change things within objective reality though our technology, but the technology does not change the nature of the objective reality itself.

And this is why I think that spirituality should not be placed in opposition to science. Spirituality that defines itself as completely unattached to science is in denial of the parameters we realistically work within every moment of our lives–to include the parameters in which we practice spirituality and magic. The splitting of science and spirit into two completely separate camps has done nothing beneficial for spirituality; all it has done is turned it into a tool for denialism and ignorance. Most of the observable effects are less drastic than the tragic cases of, say, children who die because their parents think prayer is a better cure for chronic illnesses than western medicine. But when we take science entirely out of our spirituality, we are in grave danger of imperiling ourselves on multiple levels–physical, psychological, and otherwise.

This is not to say that there is no room for suspension of disbelief. Science, for example, has not been able to prove the existence of souls, or an Otherworld, other than as psychological constructs. But when I journey, I journey with the mindset that I am going to an objectively real place where there are spirits, and where I am a temporarily disembodied spirit myself wandering through talking to animals. I realize that this is empirically unprovable, and you’re going to just have to trust me when I say I experienced it. But for me, in that moment, it is every bit as real as the physical world we all share.

However, when I come back out of the spirit world and regain my body, I become consciously aware again that there is a decided psychological angle to what I just did. It doesn’t in the least bit diminish my experience. Instead, it adds an additional layer of understanding to it, and enriches it by giving me even more language to communicate what I did. (While psychology is a soft science at best, it still contains more empirical evidence than most spiritual practices.)

And that’s the thing: science augments my spirituality. Knowing how photosynthesis works just makes knowing plant spirits that much better. Being aware of how stress affects physiological processes of the body adds value to meditation. Understanding the natural history of physical animals helps me know their totems even better.

I have more to say, but I am tired, and my words aren’t working as well as when I started this essay. Expect more in the future.

12:03 am
kistaro

[Link]

Daily twitter

08:37 I feel snakey today. *slithers around* #
09:55 I'm pretty sure Brain Age Express contributes as much as coffee to wake me up for work in the morning. #
10:06 Morning's music: Brad Sucks. Not sure why "Dropping Out Of School" resonates so well with me- although I did drop out of high school... #
10:42 Other people need to do their jobs so we hit our deadline. I must resort to a most fearsome weapon: sticky note written in red Sharpie. #
17:52 Picking up a few things from the grocery store. Amazing how many turkey products show up all of a sudden. #
18:35 Christmas creep? In my grocery store? It's more likely than you think. Sad; I expect a grocery store to push Thanksgiving. #

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11:57 pm
kigeni

[Link]

Simple
Dear Internet,

I've drank the finest wine, ate the best meals, and seen the most sublime art.

But, after all this, nothing brings a smile to my face like a warm towel, fresh out of the dryer.

Truly,
~Kigs

Current Mood: cold
Current Music: Katy Perry - Hot N Cold

02:54 am
rosefox

[Link]

"It makes no difference if it's sweet or hot"
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Current Mood: tired
Tags: body.sleep, events.parties, experiences.socializing, mind.dreamtime, mind.wiring, mind.wiring.anxiety, people.doctors

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

11:30 pm
serenejournal

[Link]

Hee!
First, mom decided

someotherguy needed a haircut, and he let her cut it. Short.

That made the munchkin want to cut MY hair, so I let her (see blurry pic below).

Then

sogwife cut her hair, with trimming help from mom.

If anyone wants to make voodoo dolls out of my family's hair, now's the time.

(11 comments | Leave a comment)

11:30 pm
rackstraw

[Link]

A Tale of Two Cons
SiliCon wasn't the last con of the year. SorcerorCon is!

I'm betting it will be a good experience for anyone with Doubletree nostalgia.

If you go, please let me know how it was because (pending travel arrangement finalization) I'm going with the BayCon contingent to LosCon! =)

Writer's Block: It's Never Too Early...

02:28 am
xydexx

[Link]

YouTube Video Du Jour

Current Mood: busy

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

09:41 pm
kadyg

[Link]

Black Friday is the unofficial kickoff to the holiday shopping season. When are you planning on beginning your holiday shopping?

Sponsored by Best Buy. Find holiday gifts for everyone on your list.

View 378 Answers

Dec. 27th.

What?

Tags: writer's block

10:00 pm
dragondazd

[Link]

Tweets from a feathered dragon

09:21 lot of broken down trains today #

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08:26 pm
furcon
[jovino]

[Link]

FCTV idea
I recall a discussion mentioning that there will be no FCTV telecast in the rooms. This is a bummer. I, for one, love being able to chill out in my room and watch the masquerade and variety shows. Tuning into random things reminds me that there's tons going out outside my door and I need to put exhaustion aside and go hop around some more. :)

An idea that I had tonight while eating dinner is that it might be possible to rig up something and do a webcast of the masquerade and variety show. Of course, you might have to tell the SL'ers to chill out during those times. ;)

I'm hardly the person to turn to for this, but I know for sure that FC has enough knowledgeable and skilled people on staff and in attendance to make this idea a reality -- and hopefully it can be a reality.

If not, cheers to you all anyway! FCTV rocks!

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

08:07 pm
luna_torquill

[Link]

More hobbies
Today I realized I still had a half-dozen butterflies in the freezer from when I caught them a year ago -- they're not supposed to stay frozen that long, as they dessicate and become impossible to pin. But I had the itch again, so I figured I'd give it a try.

I started with the common ones, and though I shredded one skipper that was too dry, I managed to mount another skipper (I think it's a ~~blue~~ checkerspot of some kind) and spread two cabbage butterflies as well. I'm a little rusty, but that's why I try to practice at least once a year, so I don't lose the skill. Cabbage butterflies are great for practice because they're large enough to get a grip on, they're as common as dirt, and they're pests so I don't cry over killing a bunch just to hone my skills.

I still have a (tattered) sulfur butterfly and an unknown one which is subtly beautiful in pastels, which are thawing out now... I always wanted a sulfur butterfly in my collection. We'll see whether they're still hydrated enough to spread out properly. If they're brittle, I can try steaming them like I did with the others tonight, that seemed to help.

I don't know why I like this hobby so much, but I do. The killing part I'm not so fond of, but the mounting and display, that's fun. :)

Edit: Steaming worked, and I managed to mount both the sulfur butterfly and the stranger with minimal hassle. I was virtuous and even wrote out cards for them with the location and date they were caught. They should all be dry and ready to put in the case by Thanksgiving evening -- which means I can use them as an excuse to pull out my collection and bore the guests. ;)

Current Mood: cheerful
Tags: life

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02:56 pm
nicked_metal

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Answers to the question you haven't read yet
( I could have waited before posting this, but I can be unreliable, so it's up to you to not cheat )

Glad to live in the lucky country, instead of the greatest country on earth ;)

Current Mood: snarky

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02:43 pm
nicked_metal

[Link]

I had a CT scan of the bit where the spine connects to the skull today. It was frightening, and I'm still frightened. I know this fear to be completely unreasonable, the truth will set me free (to make choices), not condemn me to something. The odds that my chronic headaches ever since I hit my head 6 months ago are due to something that wants surgery or is otherwise problematic haven't changed, but the odds that I'll feel like I have to do something about it have increased. Realistically, they increased last week and this week, when I realised that I couldn't walk or turn my head without pain.

The machine itself had an oddly soothing motion, gently rolling me back and forth while it took pictures from a stupidly large number of angles. The spinning camera looked pretty cool too, it seems that they keep it spinning at all times (which makes sense, easier to keep it at a consistent speed that way).

And, for my American friends, the obligatory 'health system comparison' poke-in-the-ribs-turned-to-a-question:

If I saw my general practitioner yesterday at noon for a 15 minute appointment, and had a CT scan this morning (CT Cervical spine without contrast is what the invoice says) then:
1) What is the total cost of these procedures?
2) How much of that can I claim back from the federal government's universal healthcare scheme?
3) How long before my claim is paid?

(One Australian dollar currently equals 92 US cents, feel free to answer in the currency of your choice.)

Current Mood: concealing insecurity via smugness

November 23rd, 2009

10:22 pm
rax

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Transcending Boundaries: Loose Thoughts
I took notes on all of the events I attended at Transcending Boundaries, all of which ranged from good to awesome, but I wanted to get some of my thoughts out on a particular issue, which is how I reacted to being around a whole pile of trans, bi, poly, and intersex people for a weekend. (We were also sharing the hotel and convention space with some sort of cheerleading competition, which was extra weird.) This is all very navel-gazey and mostly about me and those topics up there, so if you don't want to read about that, stop reading, I guess.

At some point during the conference,

eredien turned to me and said "You do realize that your voice went way up in pitch and you started adding a bunch of qualifiers into your speech, right?" I was like "No, of course not! I'm totally not doing that, what are you talking about" and it took until the ride home listening to my voice to go "Oh my God I sound like 2003." When I was at the point of Trying Really Hard To Pass, one of the things I did was bring my speaking voice up into breathy-high-pitched-land. Friends and family (sometimes even the same person at different times) were torn about whether this really helped bring home the difference, or just made me sound like a fool; I didn't really have any transpertise to rely on so I just went with it. Eventually I stopped doing this, although it had definitely succeeded in atrophying something in my vocal chords (as I discover on the rare occasions that something causes me to try to sing bass). As you might suspect from my working in sales in California and then in phone support for my current job, I'm not particularly worried about my voice except in brief moments of paranoia; it works, great, whatever. Recently I'd actually been trying to bring my pitch down, for reasons I'm going to leave out here. So discovering I had done this was really frustrating.

I knew why --- or at least I knew the place where I had to start to untangle what was going on in my head. I was spending a bunch of time with trans people, in particular trans women, who I saw as not passing as well as me. Now there are a few things going on here:

I have a very competitive streak (as anyone who's played Race for the Galaxy with me knows), and so I wanted to position myself as Doing It Right.
I'm made uncomfortable by some people who don't pass well because of my own internalized transphobia, and often express this in an attempt to distance myself in my presentation, whether it be in "passing better" or in acting unfeminine. In fact, my tiptoes into butchness and androgyny may have a little bit to do with trying to distance myself from what I see as "traditional" transfemininity. Of course, none of the trans women I [know I] interact with on a regular basis really do this at all. But at Transcending Boundaries, there was a lot of "You're six three why are you wearing heels." The obvious answer, of course, is "Because I want to. Why shoudn't I wear heels? To accommodate your trangst?"
The conference itself as a space full of genderqueer persons actually has some of that internalized "I need to do this better than you" going on. I'm not the only person there with internalized transphobia; I'm not the only person there with a complicated relationship to gender. I think a new friend I made on twitter expressed this really well over in eir blog. This was my first time in a really genderqueer space; I feel like for the most part I fit in well, but there was definitely some amount of "Yeah, boundaries are being policed here too."
I occasionally have mixed feelings around passing to begin with; someone at the conference made the excellent comment that "Passing isn't a matter of being better or worse than someone else, it's not something to feel guilty about or proud of." Still I can't help sometimes feeling guilty, and sometimes being prideful. It's a thing.

Despite all that I was remarkably comfortable being out and up front about my embodied experience, so that part was cool at least. Even if it was possible in this kind of space to "do trans wrong," or at least to do it more right than someone else, it was definitely not wrong to do trans. That in and of itself is pretty cool; in most social settings, even with people I know are chill, I am usually pretty reticent to talk about trans stuff. (One could argue that I am giving in to a covering demand: It's OK to be trans, and I don't necessarily have to keep it a secret, as long as I basically don't talk about it and just pretend I'm a cis person whenever it comes up.) This is changing gradually, though it's still kind of pulling teeth. I prefer to screw around with gender in my appearance, which feels safer to do now that I'm read as female ~all the time, although in some ways it's actually harder --- it's much easier to freak someone out with a beard and a skirt than it is with *gasp* boy jeans.

I have a different and related set of issues surrounding non-monogamy (and some of the other groups at the conference --- in particular the couple of people walking around in lots of leather made me kind of uncomfortable --- but I'm going to focus on this one here). There's this voice in my head that sees "I <3 > 1" pins and shirts with three people-symbols holding hands and is all "Ugh, do they really have to flaunt it? That's so gross." This leaving aside, of course, that I've gone to restaurants with two partners, or walked down the street, in a way much more in your face than wearing a button, and flaunted much more at the public than wearing a button at a poly conference. I mean, come on Rachel. :) I think part of what's going on here, and maybe a little in the trans case too, is a sort of ageism --- I associate black-t-shirted poly people with the Diesel crowd frozen in time when I was a terrified undergraduate and they were all Oh My God Old. I'm now actually friends with a number of those people, and occasionally even go, but not all of that wiring is cleared out of my head yet, and this conference was definitely an opportunity for me to see the places where I still hold some of this discomfort and am projecting it onto other people. It should arguably go without saying, but if I'm uncomfortable with someone's non-monogamy, the problem is with me, not with their behavior and presentation. And if I'm uncomfortable with their non-monogamy, what does that mean about my level of comfort with my own?

If grappling with this stuff was all that I got out of the conference, it would have been well worth my time, but more draining than rejuvenating and maybe not so fun. Luckily, the actual workshops and the other experiences I had there were super awesome. Hopefully I'll be writing about those soon! In the meantime, here's some stuff I need to work on in my own head. It's so much easier to do that if I can enumerate it, so, rock.

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07:17 pm
krinndnz

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Deine Welt
The most recent thing to seriously jab at my self-image was my father telling me that I have a "dark" worldview. That's tremendously at odds with my view of myself. I discount the view a bit because it came during a discussion about health insurance, and I'm not shy about criticizing the Current Arrangement. Outside the context of that discussion, though, I think I must be communicating something incorrectly if people think my worldview is "dark."

Here's as close to dark as I get: "there are problems confronting us that are grave, global, and difficult, with extreme consequences if we don't solve them." That applies to a lot of features of the current state of the world. I don't consider that "dark." What I consider a dark worldview is one that speaks hopelessness, that advocates nothing, that terminates possibilities. I try hard to avoid that. It is worse than useless to deny that difficult problems face us - take your pick! Resisting kyriarchy, global climate issues, water and mineral shortages, advocates of fascism and theocracy, plus garden-variety greed and the personal issues that we all spend time dealing with. It is similarly problematic to deny that not solving problems carries heavy consequences - and some of those consequences rise to the level of Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies.

That is not dark.

Dwelling on the consequences, portraying them as inevitable regardless of our actions, and wild-ass over-moralizing statements like "we deserve a second Deluge" or "Gaia will strike us down for our actions" - that, that's what I think is dark. Those attitudes have several problems. They deny human agency and ingenuity as well as sliding into self-fulfilling prophecy territory. I can see how you might confuse my worldview for them: I refuse to say that we will solve the global issues, I think it's foolish to underestimate the consequences of not solving them, and I think that the issues have a moral dimension. That's still not dark. The problems are difficult, which doesn't mean that we're certain to solve them. The problems carry heavy consequences, which it is dangerous to underestimate. The problems are in part caused by morally abhorrent actions (which excludes people who didn't know better).

What I won't say is that things are hopeless. We are here: we live, we breathe, we think. There's hope. Hope is part of the solution: acting on that hope is also necessary for solutions. I don't believe that hoping alone is sufficient. We won't get what we hope for without action. One of the best things that hope and optimism do is this: they prepare you for opportunity. When hope and optimism are lacking, you're much more likely to let opportunities slide by instead of grabbing onto them and getting something done. Again, the action part is essential, but hope and optimism are what spur you to take action. That's why I reject the arguments and interpretations of hopelessness.

I'm in the mood to do expected-value game-theory squares for a lot of things, but I'll skip that.

The other reason that having a "dark" worldview is an accusation that puzzles me is that I spend a fair amount of time thinking about beautiful things and things that make me happy. I don't suppose that everyone with a dark worldview spends a lot of their time unhappy, but that's probably what people have in mind when they make the accusation. Of course I'm sometimes unhappy about the state of the world. This is normal. Again, the distinguishing factor is hopelessness. The fact that I think that Obama is an eye-rollingly ineffective President somewhere between Clinton and Carter on the scale of effective leftists doesn't prevent me from being happy about pleasant weather, the progress of the garden, the successes of my friends, having so many and such excellent friends, my writing projects, seeing my extended family for Thanksgiving, tasty food, playing with the cat, and on and on. There are a lot of things to be happy about in the world! The world has so many awesome features. That is why I care so much that we overcome the problems: I'd like to keep enjoying the many sweet, cool, and radical elements of the world.

A better future is possible and we can make it real. It will be difficult - but we have done difficult things before. It is not impossible, and achieving it will be worth it, worth our personal happiness, worth our collective happiness, and worth the happiness of everyone in the future that we spare from the consequences of not solving our problems.

20: And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;
21: I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.
22: And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD.
23: And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?
24: Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?
25: That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
26: And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.
27: And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD, which am but dust and ashes:
28: Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy it.
29: And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty's sake.
30: And he said unto him, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find thirty there.
31: And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the LORD: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty's sake.
32: And he said, Oh let not the LORD be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten's sake.

-- Genesis 18, KJV

I'd like to recast that parable into terms of hopeless and hopeful worldviews. Sure. The world is full of problems. That does not mean that giving up on it is appropriate. As long as there remains righteousness, as long as there remains beauty and happiness and elegance, we remain in a world worth saving. The world, as it happens, is almost as full of beauty, happiness, and elegance as it is of problems. Each of us is a part of this fullness, and we can all share it.

Current Music: E Nomine - Deine Welt
Tags: family, free write, personal, whiny

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07:10 pm
lysana

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[Politics] Spitting. Mad.
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Current Mood: aggravated
Tags: politics, religion

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10:06 pm
joysweeper

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40097 / 50000 words. 80% done!

That's forty K. Ten thousand words left, huh?

To be honest, a fair amount in the past ten thou or so were characters providing exposition or scenes that were basically pointless. The whole thing with the tower of chairs? Worthless. There's even an argument at the end of it where one character says it was pointless and another defends me, saying that it proves that the plot device wasn't behind the first door they checked.

I do know where this is going. Hopefully I'll be able to start on those scenes next.