Baxil [bakh-HEEL'], n.
[Recent Entries][Archive][Friends][User Info]
My Sites
[Tomorrowlands]
[The TTU Wiki]
[Photos]
View My LJ
[By Tag]
Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Baxil" journal:[<< Previous 20 entries]
|
06:06 pm
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/32112278/240226) [Link] |
WARNING: Google has broken Javascript spam munging
Cruising through my mailbox just now, I happened to glance at a piece of spam before deleting it, and did a double-take:
![[Headers for spam to the address kawaii@tomorrowlands.org]](http://www.tomorrowlands.org/images/kawaii_spam.png)
The reason I was startled is that the kawaii address (for feedback from my "Chibi Jesus" page) is one that I exempted from spam filtering about a year back. I chose an unused address at my domain, did not use it for any purpose or attach it to any outbound mail, and published it nowhere except for a single web page, where it was protected from spam filtering by the Javascript munging recommended by Project Honey Pot.
Here, as of a month ago when it wasn't being spammed, was the only reference (WARNING: HIDEOUS MIDI MUSIC) to that address on the Web:
<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript">
// thx to http://www.blazonry.com/javascript/js_hiding.php
var rhs = "tomorrowlands";
var tld = "org";
var lhs = "kawaii";
function print_mail_to_link()
{
document.write("<a href=\"mailto");
document.write(":" + lhs + "@" + rhs + "." + tld + "\">");
document.write(lhs + "@" + rhs + "." + tld + "<\/a>");
}
<b><script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript">print_mail_to_link()</script></b>
<noscript>
<i>(An e-mail link here has been hidden in Javascript. If you have Javascript turned off, please use the contact form linked at the bottom of the page.)</i>
</noscript>
Should be pretty freakin' bulletproof, right? After all, as Project Honey Pot noted with no apparent sense of irony, "It should be noted that both of these techniques are likely to remain sound for some time to come. Harvesters that interpret the Javascript on every page they encounter would face a substantial risk of getting stuck in infinite loops or crashing due to malformed Javascript. ... This is likely beyond the current computing power of a legitimate company like Google."
The problem is that, if a legitimate company like Google does apply the computing power to it, the spammers don't have to expend the effort: they merely have to crawl the Google results.
And, alarmingly, this seems to be what has started to happen.
At first I thought that the address had been either guessed or else reposted somewhere, and I ran a Google search for kawaii@tomorrowlands.org in order to explore this. The only result to pop up was my own page, and the text summary of the page read:
The source code of the Google results page shows the address bare: "<em>kawaii@tomorrowlands.org</em>"
The source code of the Google-cached page is identical to mine (i.e. no raw address; the Javascript is preserved); the cache was taken May 12, 2009. It appears that the caching itself doesn't break the munging. There must be something about the excerpting process that does the trick.
At first I couldn't believe my eyes. Was this coincidence? I went through my recently deleted e-mail and rechecked all of the spam headers.
I have a similar whitelisted-and-munged address I use only for WikkaWiki announcements, that has only been posted on my own wiki, protected similarly. It has also started receiving spam, and investigation turned up the same results. At this point the evidence is pretty damning.
The first spam I still have for kawaii was on June 8; it's likely that Google's behavior change dates from before then, and the spammers are only now beginning to take advantage of this new potential. The spam started slowly and is now up to several messages per day -- word is probably spreading amongst the bad guys.
So.
Webmasters: Time to re-spamproof your site. A damn useful tool has just dropped out of the toolbox.
PLEASE NOTE: I have disabled the e-mail address referred to by this post. To contact me regarding this post, please write to [the first three letters of this journal name] [the dash symbol, '-'] [mail] [at-sign] tomorrowlands [dot.] org, or leave a comment below.
UPDATE: Two pieces of additional information I'd like to pull out from comments:
1. Even though the sample search I provided was for the compromised e-mail address, the spammer does NOT need to previously know your e-mail address in order to Google it. They just have to search for things shaped like e-mail addresses and skim the cream of the results. [*]
2. There is anecdotal evidence that pages which pull their decode function from a separate .js file have not been broken. (Yet.)
UPDATE 2: Welcome to /. readers! More discussion in the Slashdot thread.
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Music: Jim's Big Ego, "WTFMFWTFAYT?"
Tags: geekery, my brain now hurts, privacy, technology
|
|
09:10 am
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/9758787/240226) [Link] |
Google Protip: and Legend of Hero 036-037
People living in The Tomorrowlands Universe have DWIM magitechnology to do the heavy lifting when they hear a catchy song on the radio and want to find it again later. The rest of us aren't so lucky, and must get clever with mundane tools.
But! With a little finesse and simple memorization, Google can be almost magical in finding songs for you.
Let's say that you're listening to this mystery song on the radio and want to find out how to obtain a copy later (from your friendly local DRM-free online music seller such as Amazon, iTunes, some crazy Russian mp3 site, etc). Here's how to go about it:
1. Pick out and memorize some significant phrases.
By "significant" I mean "containing more than verbal filler." If you hear a sappy love song and only remember the phrases "Ooh baby," "oh yeah," and "I love you" you're not going to get anywhere. But if the phrase is sufficiently long or distinctive, you'll get it in one: "the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now" is more than enough. Even a pair of two- or three-word snippets will work surprisingly often.
The chorus of the song is generally good for this, especially since they'll repeat it several times and that makes it easier to drive it into your mind and get all the messy little prepositions right.
2. Make a beeline for a web browser.
Look it up as you're settling into work after your commute or the instant you get home. Keeping the memorized phrases in the front of your mind is hard enough; setting it on the back burner is a recipe for failure.
3. Use optimal search syntax.
What you want to do is feed Google (other search engines will work, but Google's very good about this) the search term:
"PHRASEONE" [ "PHRASETWO" [ "PHRASETHREE" ... ] ] lyrics
For those of you unfamiliar with Unix manual page syntax, this means that you enclose each individual phrase in quotes, include as many phrases as you want (one, two, three, etc), and end with the bare word lyrics. Like so:
"the airwaves are clean and there's nobody singing to me now" lyrics
Or, to repeat the one I ran this morning,
"make sure you're connected" "writing's on the wall" "stumble you might fall" lyrics[*]. Voila!
4. Optimization
This technique works better the more specific you get, but you have to have the words right. Searching for "airwaves are clean and nobody's singing to me now" and leaving out the "there" in the middle is totally useless. To get around this, split your single long phrase into a few brief ones and put in the words you're most certain of:
"airwaves are clean" "singing to me" lyrics[*]. See, it really doesn't take much!
Is the chorus the same line repeated over and over again? Feed in the duplicate phrase inside a single pair of quotes: "change i can change i can change" works MUCH better than "i can change". Throwing in a second significant phrase along with the repeated one works even better yet.
5. Success!
Enjoy your music, and go read Legend of Hero, where you can pick up other useful life skills such as "how to fight off a rampaging 30-foot bull-fish monster" and "etiquette for comparing notes with characters from inside your favorite role-playing game."
This week's tutorial is "how to deal with your sorta-boyfriend disappearing and your gaming buddies acting weird," led by previously minor character Crissy Ellenberg. Act II: See her doodle to escape the tedium of Mr. Henderson's lectures! Hear her banter about mythology as she paints character portraits! Watch her pick up the Magical Plot Brush! Act III: Feel the suspense as Kevin evades all her questions! Thrill as she remembers the business card we last saw a few months back ... and discover, along with her, what's actually on it!! THE SUSPENSE, IT MAKES ME SHOUT!!!!1!!
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Music: (Guess.)
Tags: geekery, legend of hero
|
|
09:33 pm
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/80952186/240226) [Link] |
Video game poetry
THE HAVING OF GUNS
(From "Old Hero's Book of Practical Guns," by T. R. Iggerman)
The Having of Guns* is a difficult issue,
For a hero in video games that are fun;
Many guns he must tote, lest he shoot and then miss you,
So I tell you, our man must have THREE DIFFERENT GUNS.
First of all, there's the gun that he shoots if he's near you,
like a flamethrower, shotgun, a D'eagle or Uzi,
If need be, a crowbar or chainsaw can smear you,
All deal death at close range; don't be choosy.
But I tell you, a man needs a gun in distinction not lacking,
A gun that shoots farther, and less broad and wide;
How else can he snipe from afar while wall-hacking?
Or clear out a level before stepping outside?
The guns of this nature will now be highlighted,
Such as his sniper rifles, or railguns, or AWPs,
Such as guns that shoot lasers, or by lasers are sighted --
All guns that at long range I promise are tops.
But above and beyond there's still one gun left over,
And that is the gun that no shooter omits;
The gun that makes game players sigh like a lover,
The gun that kills HALF OF THE MAP when it hits.
When you notice a gunhaver laugh with abandon
Then, no matter the game, you will know what he's done:
His mind is fixated on firing at random
With explosives, explosives, explosives so fun
With unbeatable, l33table
Bee-eff-gee-eetable
Blow up the map-able
Havable
Guns.
--
* If the "Gunhaver" reference for video game shooters hasn't crossed your path yet, then at least there's this for some context.
Current Location: ~/bedroom
Current Music: "teh noob song," teh pwnerer
Tags: games, geekery, wordplay, writing
|
|
12:32 am
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/30804254/240226) [Link] |
Perspective on atheist believers
I've seen the statistic cited a few times today that 21 percent of (American) atheists believe in a higher power, which is roughly as absurd as saying that 21 percent of vegetarians eat meat.
It's pretty easy to make more out of a statement like that than the data really implies, and people have been rightly skeptical. But in ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) chipuni's discussion thread (friends-locked), bernmarx links to the original study [PDF], and so we have the opportunity to unpack it a bit.
Is it statistical trickery?
( No )
Is it linguistic trickery?
( Maybe )
Does it show that atheists are stupid, crazy and/or hypocritical?
( No )
* * * * *
Also, apropos of nothing: props to hafoc for utterly out-Frosting me in the tech support poetry thread.
--
* The PDF has four pages of cover, credits and index; I'm following the numbering scheme of the document itself. In order to immediately locate any reference, jump to (page number + 4) in the PDF you download.
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Music: The Wingless, "Super Metroid: All The World In One Girl" OC Remix
Tags: geekery, polls
|
|
01:44 pm
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/70283732/240226) [Link] |
Greatest. Unix. Command. Ever.
So we were writing some shell scripts here at work today, and while debugging a delete command that wasn't working as expected, the following sentence in the man page for rm caught my eye:
The interactive mode used to be a dsw command, a carryover from the ancient past with an amusing etymology.
Which led me to Google, and thus to a bit of history on dsw, the Real Programmer's way to delete files.
The acronym itself turns out to be boring, but what a backstory!
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Music: "Coconut," Reservoir Dogs soundtrack
Tags: geekery
|
|
01:48 am
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/70456868/240226) [Link] |
Finally gave in
... and installed AWStats on Tomorrowlands today. I try not to care about page statistics, but it is nice seeing who's visiting you and why.
In honor of the occasion (I literally haven't looked at webstats for years now), I'll swipe an idea from lupabitch and share with you some of the weirdest web searches that brought strangers to my site last month*:
free billy joel in the middle of the night
Dude, he's not even in jail!
dragon union means
... not having to worry about getting fired.**
how to find out if dragons really exist or not
Well, if anyone would know how to find that out, I guess a dragon would.
firee sex games
This gives a whole new meaning to the term "smoke jumper."
what are mental faculties?
If you have to ask ... ***
how much would it cost to buy a ton of rock salt? where would i purchase it?
Don't know, but I'll tell you one thing: Shipping costs will be hideous.
send me jesus
So, I was just saying about shipping costs ...
how to hack the game
Actually, I think you wanted xkcd.
Linda Ronstadt
The punchline here is that 14 people scrolled through 10 pages of search results to reach my site -- only to find a pop quiz on the element silicon. (I also got one hit for "silicon" that way, actually.)
screaming virgins
Sorry, you're a few decades too late for Linda Ronstadt.
As a side note: I like awstats' options more than webalizer's, but installation was far more of a hassle. (I had to fix some directory permissions while troubleshooting. Never fun to track those bugs down.)
--
* I wasn't even on the first page of search results for any of these. Although Tomorrowlands has been Google's top link for six years running for "depressing poetry".
** (*rimshot*)
*** Alternate punchline: "They teach the mental students."
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Mood:  sleepy
Current Music: "Riding The Waves," Afro Celt Sound System
Tags: geekery, search results
|
|
09:32 pm
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/37047098/240226) [Link] |
"Old-school" gaming: A moment of perspective
(Reposting this from a friend's journal, where a pet peeve was brought up -- use of the term "old-school" to refer to things within our lifetimes.)
I respectfully disagree that "old school" is being inappropriately used -- at least in proper context.
2007:
("Call of Duty 4", Gamespy's Game of the Year)
2002:
("Metroid Prime," Gamespy's Game of the Year)
1997:
("Myth: The Fallen Lords," Gamespot's Best Graphics pick for the year)
1992:
("Street Fighter II" on Super NES, one of the year's biggest hits)
1987:
("Legend of Zelda," American release)
1982:
("QBert" in arcades)
1977:
Space War (not embedding due to image resolution)
Consider.
I am 30, and I virtually outlive modern video games. The outside edge of "old school" for video games is 30 years old. Look back 15 years, or even 10, and you wouldn't be able to believe these games were cutting-edge if your only metric was what's commercially available today.
This is why we can talk about older games as if they're relics from our grandfather's generation: because, in game years, they are. If civilization developed in the same time scale as video games, then firing up an emulator and playing an old Super NES classic would be like talking to someone who was alive in the time of Jesus. Sitting in front of an Asteroids arcade machine would be like shaking hands with the hunter-gatherer who invented bronzeworking.*
I would say the "modern" (new-school) video game era began sometime around the Playstation's success in the late 1990s; that was the time that the real transition from 2D to 3D took hold. "Old-school gaming" properly refers to the previous era, or (the sometimes newer but excellent) games designed under those principles. And it's pretty easy to see not only the graphical difference but the design difference if you've played both old-school and new-school video games.
P.S. Feeling old now.
--
* And the board game "Monopoly" would be a literal Neanderthal, walking in circles with his little dog while the rest of us are building cannons and cars.
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Mood:  contemplative
Current Music: "Storm Fortress of Kh'Lar," Skyblazer OST
Tags: best of baxil, games, geekery, multimedia
|
|
01:08 am
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/50761588/240226) [Link] |
Being poor and eating well
After work tonight, I came home with an organic zucchini to feed Boing for the next three days. It cost me $1.45, which emptied my wallet* and got me to thinking.
| |
![[Baxil]](http://userpic.livejournal.com/46309021/240226 "Baxil") |
![[Boing]](http://www.tomorrowlands.org/images/lj/boing_icon.jpg "Boing the plecostomus") |
![[Boy]](http://www.tomorrowlands.org/images/lj/africa_kid.jpg "Starving African kid") |
| Diet |
Boxed pasta, chili, frozen pizzas, ramen |
Organic zucchini |
Staples from international relief efforts |
| Daily food costs (actual) |
~$5.00 |
$0.48 |
~$0.50[1] |
| Weight |
86 kg |
0.2 kg |
~15 kg |
| DAILY FOOD COSTS (weight-adjusted**) |
$5.00 |
$206.40 (!) |
$2.75 |
... Boing, you're lucky you're so damn cute.
--
* Literally; I was eight cents short and had to cash in some serious penny-jar karma. I'm awfully broke this month. The forced time off during the holidays destroyed our income, and vet bills plus what little gift shopping we did destroyed our budget.
** Normalized to 86 kg so as to allow direct comparison.
Current Mood:  hungry
Current Music: po, "electric clouds": www.vgmix.com
Tags: geekery, pets
|
|
04:40 pm
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/8403565/240226) [Link] |
Don't know why it took me this long
Just learned* I have an easy way to tell geeks how to pronounce my name:
Baxil, x as in TeX.
(Or, if you're more the IPA sort, /ba:xi:l/.)
--
* I have a degree in mathematics. I somehow didn't pick this information up in college. Under the Chu-Carroll Criterion, this means that I should probably be fired.
Current Location: ~/Brainstorm
Current Music: Symbion Project, "Soft Tempest" (via net radio)
Tags: draconity, geekery, wordplay
|
|
03:46 pm
[Link] |
New web toy
Now you, too, can make up charts like this one* on the fly and embed them in your posts -- even if you don't have a website to host them on:
http://code.google.com/apis/chart/ has the details.
Fun contest in comments! Make up the most awesome fake chart! Winner gets official Baxil Points, redeemable for fine Baxil merchandise at fine Baxils everywhere!
--
* Venn diagram idea shamelessly reused from a floating Internet meme. I just needed something to test the API out with.
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Mood:  amused
Tags: contests, geekery, technology, wordplay
|
|
07:35 pm
[Link] |
Using mod_rewrite to take down a whole site
This is the product of half an hour of experimentation after research failed to provide a working answer. I hope it comes in useful for one of you someday. (n.b.: I also plan to bookmark it in my del.icio.us' web:repair category.)
Do you need to redirect everything on a web site to the same page? (This can happen if you need to notify all incoming web users of critical server problems and/or slashdotting that will force an extended outage; or if you want to make a Web site vanish. My current problem is the former.)
Put this code in the .htaccess file on the top level of your web directory. Change the two instances of "index.html" to the name of the page your message will be located at. Assuming mod_rewrite is installed and configured correctly, and the .htaccess file is readable by the web server, that should do the trick.
( Cut for non-webmasters )
Currently, you can see the results of this by going to any page at Tomorrowlands. I'd rather have the site back up, but at least this is better than nothing.
(E-mail should work again too, btw. But the gmail address is probably safer for the moment.)
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Mood:  drained
Current Music: George Winston, "Longing/Love"
Tags: geekery, tlands
|
|
05:17 pm
[Link] |
Quote of the moment
G: ... And when you impose "upgrades" along the same release.
G: (Vista Business -> Ultimate)
G: (Ultimate -> Bill Gates Best Buddy Forever Edition)
B: The biggest problem with that is; where do they go next? I mean, to exceed Vista BGBFF they'd have to do something like Vista: Masters of the Universe edition.
B: "By the power of bluescreen! I am ... E-Man!"
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Music: "A Violent Encounter," Kow Otani, SOTC OST
Tags: geekery, wordplay
|
|
03:10 am
[Link] |
Follow-up
Remember how setting up the DSL modem took three and a half hours?
... The wireless router just took four.
On the other hand, that broke down quite a bit differently: Three and a half hours of fearful procrastination, 10 minutes of tinkering, and 20 minutes of securing sshd on my Mac and poking a hole in the firewall for it.
As they say, sometimes the dragon wins. ]B=8)
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Mood:  relieved
Current Music: Rhythm Corps, "Number Song"
Tags: geekery
|
|
12:53 am
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/62507899/240226) [Link] |
Please stand by
We are experiencing ( technical difficulties ). Dealing with today's DSL switchover here at the International House of Ninja is turning out to be a much bigger hassle than expected. Your Baxil will return shortly.
At least I've now got some detailed notes on ...
Steps for switching a Speedstream 5100 to our company's Internet service
- Log in to http://192.168.0.1. Click to edit configuration.
- Enter the "Modem Access Code" printed on the bottom of the device.
- ... Which is set in the firmware and shouldn't be changeable.
- Enter the "Modem Access Code" again because it's not accepting it.
- Assume firmware corruption. Find "Factory Reset" link.
- Reset the modem.
- Repeatedly.
- ... With a large hammer.
- Finish cursing. Locate hardware reset switch on underside of device.
( The fun continues )
Current Location: ~/Brainstorm
Current Mood:  exhausted
Current Music: "Green," Afro Celt Sound System
Tags: geekery, misc life updates, my brain now hurts, tech support horror stories, technology, work
|
|
12:38 pm
[Link] |
I need some strange info
Do any of my readers work at Google, or know anyone who does, or know anyone who knows someone that does?
I need to know the IP block of their *outgoing* mail servers (specifically for Google Groups, but those mail servers probably cover their other services as well). We're running greylisting here at our ISP, and it's working fantastically -- but the delays it's causing to Google Groups e-mail notifications are giving one of our customers problems, so I want to preemptively whitelist their mail server IPs.
There's absolutely nothing relevant on their support pages (as might be expected). I can't get through to a live person at their corporate phone number. I just need a starting place.
(Comments to this post are screened in case you have a private phone number to give me. I'll update here if I can get things fixed.)
--
ETA: Possibly solved; see comments. (Fix time: 1/2 hour. I love the Internet.) Confirmation or further refinement would still be appreciated.
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Music: Prozax, "8-Bit Rox OC Remix"
Tags: geekery, requests, work
|
|
05:33 pm
[Link] |
Hate for Yahoo growing
From the tech support files
[BACKGROUND: Our small ISP recently changed its name, and as a consequence a redirect got installed on the home page many of our users are used to to send them to the new site. This call occured on my first workday after the redirect goes live.]
CUSTOMER: I can't get to nccn.net to do my webmail any more!
baxil: What happens when you try?
C: Other stuff comes up.
B: Like what?
C: Things like www.nccn.net/wellwithin, www.nccn.net/vaccines ...
B: (panics, double-checks that www.nccn.net isn't resolving to a site index listing, calms down slightly) Does what you're seeing look like a web page, or does it look like a list of things?
C: A list of things.
B: (tries to fish more information out, finally settles on:) And what did you do to get there?
C: I put in www.nccn.net, and #1 comes up "vaccination information," then "wellwithin earth mysteries at nccn.net/wwithin" ...
B: Aaaaaah .... I see. (Goes to Google, types in 'www.nccn.net' and finds similar page of results) And do you see the listing at the top that says "Spiral.com"?
C: No, I don't.
B: Um, you must not be using Google then. What site does the search results that you're looking at?
C: Yahoo.
B: (sure enough, Yahoo doesn't have Spiral anywhere; its method of dealing with pages that return 301's is apparently to delete them entirely from its database) ... okay, well, there's not going to be a good way to get to our site from there. What I'm going to do is have you put the address into a different location that will take you straight to our home page. (walks her through putting it in Address Bar) See it now?
C: Yep, there's the new spiral page.
B: While you're there, click on the "Web Mail" link to get to the squirrel page and let's save you a little effort in the future.
C: Okay.
B: Alright, now go up to the Favorites menu ...
C: I see Bookmarks, no Favorites.
B: Okay, bookmarks. (... Even though MSIE's called it "Favorites" for three versions now?)
C: I clicked on it and now I'm at a Yahoo login page.
B: (wtf?) ... Wait, that wasn't it. Click on Back.
C: Okay, back to the squirrel.
B: (leads her through the painful process of describing the MSIE window, so we can confirm the "Bookmarks" she clicked on really was in the menu bar ... it was.) Okay, so, just click on the word "Bookmarks" and don't move the mouse yet. What comes up?
C: "Add Bookmarks," etc. (gives a menu listing)
B: Alright, click on "Add Bookmark."
C: I'm back at the Yahoo login page.
B: *headdesk* ... Alright, well, that's no use then. Yahoo has done something really craptastic with your browser, and I have no idea how to fix it. Sorry about that.
C: OK, thanks!
Current Location: ~spiral
Current Mood:  okay
Current Music: Kow Otani, "Resurrection," Shadow Of The Colossus OST
Tags: geekery, my brain now hurts, tech support horror stories, work
|
|
08:27 pm
[Link] |
Support Ticket #11578: The Adventure of the Muddled Mail
Copied unedited from our tech support queue. I love my job. -B
It was a singularly warm day in the foothills; July sunshine had chased the weekend's unseasonal clouds away, and neither fan nor air conditioner could reduce the dry heat that always put me in a mind of Afghanistan. Perspiring under my summer cottons, I trudged into the upstairs office at 416B Baker Street, to be greeted by an all-too-familiar tuneless scraping upon a violin.
"Holmes," I cried with some exasperation, "Will that infernal racket never cease to entertain you in your idle moments?"
"Idle? Come, Watson," Sureclaw Holmes replied reproachfully, clicking "pause" on the YouTube video of the unfortunately talentless music student. "You cannot tell me that you are so unobservant as to have not deduced the pattern behind my musical habits by now."
"But of course," I replied, dabbing the sweat from my brow and glancing at my pocket-watch. "It indicates that you are deep in thought over some baffling case of grave import. I would wager pf on nccn3 is continuing its vexatious ways."
"Ah, Watson," he replied with a twinkle in his eye. "You would do well to rely upon the evidence of your senses over such trifling hunches! For upon my screen you observe no InterMapper console, nor any terminal windows but one! How then could one of our servers be having issues? No, the case that has my mind so engaged -- like all of the best adventures we've shared -- is one of trifling importance, one I perhaps should not even be dealing with on tech support time, and yet one that drove one of our customers so to madness that he should seek out professional assistance."
( About 2,000 words of this. Blame the muse. )
Current Location: ~yuba
Current Music: "I Saved The World Today," Eurythmics
Tags: best of baxil, geekery, tech support horror stories, work, writing
|
|
10:19 pm
[Link] |
BOFHer wars*
Our story starts about seven weeks ago. roaminrob had just joined me at Yubanet, and the two of us were working tech support together; me on a Mac, him on a PC. I gave him crap about his computer, and he retaliated by secretly installing this. One day, while we were working, the screen saver came on (it even pauses iTunes for total verisimilitude) -- and punked me good.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Behind the link is a tale of harmless yet lavishly detailed root login hijacking. Including ninjas, and cats. And ASCII art of both. This is what happens when sysadmins duel ...
He will get me back. Oh, yes, he will get me back. But I've set the bar high. ]B=8D
While I'm linking to roaminrob, by the way, I agree with his recent "Society By Example" post. If he's not on your friends list, his recent entries are worth a skim.
--
* I think this is a pun I can justifiably be proud of, considering that the prank combined the deep systems ownership of a BOFH with the harmless foam-padded whackery of boffing.
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Mood:  devious
Current Music: "Divine Moments of Truth," Shpongle
Tags: best of baxil, bofher wars, geekery, work
|
|
11:54 pm
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/3864443/240226) [Link] |
Sharing the pain
Dear gamers and sci-fi fans: Please root around in your MP3 collection until you find that old, dusty copy of the Pet Shop Boys' "West End Girls."
Put it on in the background.
Then go read this short post for context. Scroll down until you reach this comment.
Apologies for the earworm. And any implied slight to Star Wars fans. ];=8)
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Mood:  creative
Current Music: guess.
Tags: filk, geekery, lyrics, roleplaying, wordplay
|
|
10:53 am
![[User Picture]](http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/62128449/240226) [Link] |
Tech support horror stories
As noted in my previous post, jhitchin's "Tech Support" song is dear to my heart. Part of the reason is that, as a tech support worker myself, I have had those moments to which the song refers.
That confusion as the caller describes a situation you're pretty certain violates several laws of physics. ("I'm telling you, my modem works beautifully during the day and then refuses to dial out at all after sunset.*" "Yeah, our logs show that too. Umm ... have you tried garlic? Or a cross?")
That shock as the mists of innocent miscommunication casually burn away and the full depth of a problem is revealed in all its glory. ("I haven't been able to dial up to 555-0616 in a while." "That's not one of our numbers. Aha ... you know, I bet that's the dial-in phone number from the company that we took over from. Wait. How long exactly has it been since you were able to connect?" "Uh, a little over a year."*)
That pants-wetting fear as a Machine That Should Not Be (e.g., anything containing both Windows 98 and a network card) shambles into view like a digital zombie. Or, for that matter, as a User that Should Not Be Allowed Anywhere Near Computers (e.g., anyone who thinks making a Windows 98 box their primary Internet machine is a good idea; or someone who misunderstands the meaning of "tech support" *) moans and latches onto your head to eat your brain.
And the reason I transcribed the song today is because I recently had an encounter that can only truly be described by quoting Hitchin.
The background here is that the outgoing mail server at the Internet Service Provider I work for is restricted to people on our dial-up network as a spam prevention measure; mail-only and webhosting customers have to use their own ISP's outgoing mail server. (This restriction is the case at most ISPs, but since virtually all Internet service comes with free e-mail, it's really never an issue.) One of our e-mail only customers calls up with complaints that he can't send messages, so I explain the policy. Then I discover that his Internet service is satellite.
It has been my experience as a tech that, without exception, satellite ISPs' tech support is hideous. Hughesnet is perhaps the worst offender -- last time I checked, the tech support number prominently plastered all over their website had been disconnected, and the number recycled to an online florist (who was probably sick of getting tech support calls*). But all of them suffer from utterly impenetrable Web sites, unusable documentation, and a burning desire to never have to speak to one of their customers. So when I heard that Customer had satellite service, I winced and decided to give him a hand in setting up his outgoing e-mail server properly.
After wading through WildBlue's hedge maze of a support site, I learn that they specifically don't provide mail server information. Their only public support option is an application to download that will accelerate your connection, and also oh by the way fix Outlook Express' settings so that it will access your mail account.* **
This is, of course, unacceptable. It's a slow day, so I jump into an online-chat tech support queue on behalf of Mutual Customer; I figure I'll know the right questions to ask (and, maybe, have enough credibility) to get all the necessary setup information from one of their techs.
I'm going to skip the story of how connecting to their online chat queue at various times (and apparently at random) cited me a 45-minute wait, booted me out entirely, and immediately threw me to the head of the line. Because that's neither here nor there.
No, the real story starts when I connect to "Senior* Technical Agent 3."
I introduce myself and identify our mutual customer. Then I start asking for details of mail client configuration.
Server name, check. ("But hey, you got one! One out of ten ain't bad.")
Then I ask him the port to connect to their outgoing mail server on.
This is something that end users often don't know anything about; it's a technical detail that's transparent after initial setup. But it's a basic component of the support job. Asking an ISP technician about the connection port is like asking an auto mechanic to check the level of your transmission fluid.
And Senior Technical Agent 3 -- Senior Technical Agent 3 -- says:
> "Port 25? Or 587?"
"we would not know that" * ** ***
Rob, working at the next desk over, is interrupted in his work by a heavy, rhythmic thumping. Seconds later, he has leapt from his seat and is attempting to persuade me to stop whacking my head against the table.*
When I recover, unfortunately, I still have a job to do. I'm not quite masochistic enough to press the issue (I figure I can just try both and see what sticks), but I do have to ask some assorted questions about authentication and connection encryption. At least with those, Senior Technical Agent 3 gives me things that sound like real answers.
I probably don't have to explain that, once Customer called back and we tried to get his connection working, absolutely nothing the tech told me worked.
Except for the server name. But hey, even a stopped time measurement device is right once per solar cycle.
--
* True and not embellished, not even for dramatic effect.
** Oh, dear god, I only wish I was embellishing the depth of the stupidity here.
*** Everybody say it along with me: "OH MY GOD, THEY GAVE YOU ROOT?!?"
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Music: "Teleport," Man With No Name
Tags: geekery, my brain now hurts, tech support horror stories, work
|
[<< Previous 20 entries] |
