I'm surprised more people haven't made this connection "What will we do tonight, Brain?"
"The same thing we do every night, Penny ... try to help Inspector Gadget!"
(*MUSIC STARTS*)
They're Penny and the Brain Yes, Penny and the Brain One's kinda furry, the other's sorta plain While Penny's fighting crime She's captured all the time ... Then rescued They're Penny and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain Brain
When Gadget's note explodes Right in Chief Quimby's face These two go on the road To save him from disgrace
They're Penny and The Brain Yes, Penny and The Brain Her e-book's arcane He suffers lots of pain When MAD unveils a plot They'll give that cat what's what 'Til "next time!" They're Penny and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain Wowsers!
-- * Blame krinndnz, who is completely innocent, but who got me searching the web in the first place for a picture of the MAD Cat from Inspector Gadget. Then this idea got stuck in my head ... and wouldn't let go.
WUTNWHWL! Sorry for my silence lately -- been getting distracted with offline things such as Go, video games (Shadow Hearts: From The New World is my latest timesuck) and writing. Yep, writing. Still making slow by steady progress on the Ambitious Cat tales ... I just seem to have a knack for transforming tiny scene sketches into multi-thousand-word monsters.
While the latest story (which stars both Kiasu and the Redeemers -- and a great deal of subsequent fireworks) is still very much In Progress, I ran across a snippet in my old notes tonight that is ready to see the light of day. (For some value of "ready" that includes both "demented but hilarious" and "cringe-inducing," anyway.) It ... well, um, I think I'll just have to let it speak for itself.
So. Never-before-seen SONG LYRICS!
(*A catchy rock riff introduces an upbeat tune of the sort played by quirky yet talented college bands across the nation.*)
This singles bar is getting old. I don't know why I came. You look bored too. May I be bold And ask you for your name?
Me? I'm a creature of the night A real moonlight child. You seem like the adventurous type -- Wanna go play ... doggy style?
We can --
(*Suddenly, with no warning, POWER CHORDS! And DRUM FLAILING! The ENTIRE BAND sings in ALMOST-HARMONY! With WOLVES HOWLING! And maybe a banjo, or a theremin, or something!*)
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! With ... HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV!
(*Back to the normal instrumentation, but more animated this time, and with 82% fewer pretensions of taking this seriously*)
You know, you're right, my line lacked taste I'm grateful for the clue You bit me with such canine grace And fur is just so you.
Another wolf out cruising bars! I can't believe my luck! To celebrate this find of ours Let's go out back and --
(*POWER CHORDS again! Of course.*)
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! With ... HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV!!
I know you're mad, but hear me out This meeting must be fate All these little signs -- like just now, when you threw me through that plate-glass window? I LIKE that in a mate!
(*BRIDGE! Instrumental n' shit!** A drum solo in the finest tradition of epileptic seizures! Wolf howls! Ambulance sirens! Thrills!*)
You're right, I just can't take a no But still, you can't disguise Your tail wagging to and fro The interest in your lovely eyes
I like your style -- hey, there's that smile! C'mon, I'll take you home Why, sure -- we'll chase sticks for a while Before we bury some bones
As we WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS! With ... HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV!!
Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! AROOOOOOOO!!! (*instrumental thrashing and howling, out*)
Anyway: This shamelessly silly TTU song is called HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV Written by The Howl in 1997, for their eponymous first album***
-- * This note left intentionally blank. ** Yes, this is how I wrote it out in the original scribbled lyrics page. *** But, of course, out here in the non-TTU world it was really written by me.**** **** Oh, shit! I probably didn't want to admit that.
Dribs and droplets In lieu of a dozen important things I'd like to write, I'd like to at least take a few seconds to clear some improperly ordered thoughts out of my brain:
3) I was with my family in Maine this week, and at one point my father was discussing some properties along the street we were driving. Except instead of "rental cottage" he used the words "rental college." I know this was just a malapropism but kadyg and I immediately agreed that it was the COOLEST THING EVER. It would be awesome to be able to rent a college out for a semester or two, teach your own classes, and hand out University of Your-Name-Here degrees.
0) The programmers in the audience should appreciate this one. I did a search through my music library today on the word "true" to find a particular song I wanted to move between playlists; it turned up three results. Something deep in my brain clicked, and I paused, went back to the search box, and looked up "false." Happily, it did in fact return 0.
2) Kady and I held a conversation in the car about parking deities, and we discovered that we have some religious incompatibilities to work through: She calls upon Squat (Goddess* of the Parking Lot) for her vehicular needs, whereas my parking pleas go to Hank (God of Parking).
This led to a discussion of the relative merits of said parking gods, and since discussions of relative efficiency et. al. would have been merely anecdotal and not at all objective, we found a wonderful metric with which to compare the utility of our respective deities: How well their names fit into impromptu parking cheers.
I am sad to report that Squat is the clear winner in this regard. It was easy to come up with the following riff:
Squat! Squat! You're so hot! Help me now to find a spot! Can you call her? You may not! For she's MY goddess of the lot!*
Whereas in order to beseech Hank in similar meter I had to not only take a more aggressive tone but also murder the ghost of grammar:
Hank! Hank! I'm getting crank- y! Help me out, that last spot stank! I need to park right near the bank So find a spot to get my thanks!
I guess at least I can take comfort in the fact we're still both doing better than the Christians with parking needs:
Jesus! Jesus! Do not tease us! We need a parking spot to please us! (Cheer ends early due to further rhymes being total travesties of English)
A dragon looks at thirty* I've got a birthday about to start in just a few hours.** Up until this morning, it was weighing heavily on my mind.
Something in my brain must feel awful betrayed at the rolling of the odometer, because I literally have not been able to think of turning 30 for weeks without the thought flitting past my brain: "It's been a good run." That's not the thought of a man passing a milestone. That's the thought of a man indulging in a little eschatological nostalgia.
Consciously, I know this seems ridiculous; unconsciously, I can't shake it.
It's a contradiction that I've been living with for a while. Take -- for example -- that both of my parents (in their late 60s) are still alive, and my odds at that longevity (the human average) are at least as good. But at the same time, I would already be 12 years dead if it weren't for 20th-century medicine's fortuitous talent for appendectomies.***
That's a sobering thought ... that everything I've made of my adult life is, essentially, time brazenly stolen out from under the nose of a patient and vindictive Death.
And yet ... and yet.
As morbid as my reflection was, it's true. Looking back from 30, it has been a good run. My legacy is one of living, of loving, of creation.**** What more could be done, except to keep giving, and to grow the castle upon that foundation?*****
This morning, something in my subconscious must have come to that realization, too, because I had a dream that threw it all into sharp relief.
It was a simple dream. My family, kadyg and I were all piled in a car, driving through richly forested Washington state, following the Pacific Crest Trail along and occasionally getting out for some day hiking or to offer some trail support to the thru-hikers nearing the end of their journey. The weather was perfect, and I was spending a lot of time basking in the sunshine and taking in the views.
Then the five of us ran across a thru-hiker, and all crammed like sardines into the car in order to take her in to town. "The Rose" was on the radio, and someone turned it up, and we were all singing along. Except the lyrics had been changed.
I am left with the last thing I sang, proudly, full of wonder and contentment, before the alarm clock buzzed: "I have given too many reasons / That bind my soul to life."
And that's it, really. As morbid as I might want to be, honoring the closure of a decade, there's just too much to like here. If something were to happen to me, it has been a good run and I wouldn't have many regrets -- but I would sure regret not getting enough time to take everything in that Earth's got to offer.
Here's to hoping I can say the same for decades to come.
-- * Because we just can't get enough of the cultural references here. ** Not true. I wrote the first part of this post in between shifts on what turned out to be a 16-hour workday. I've got another 10 starting in seven four hours. What a way to leave behind my 20s. *sigh* *** Though packbat brought up this very topic days ago, I wasn't able to catch up on my flist until after I wrote this. Any thoughts of personal mortality are completely my own and not inspired by recent memes. **** I also, with approximately 15 minutes left to spare, have finally lost my network administration virginity. Yes! For lo, I have hand-crimped my first CAT5 cable. ***** Also, apologies for the halfway-intentional free verse of this paragraph.
Sharing the pain Dear gamers and sci-fi fans: Please root around in your MP3 collection until you find that old, dusty copy of the Pet Shop Boys' "West End Girls."
Lyrics: "Tech Support," Jeffrey Hitchin If you've never heard the song "Tech Support" by Jeffrey Hitchin, you really ought to go download it and give it a listen. I've only ever been able to find a single recording of it -- a digitized recording of a 1993 live performance, hosted at the Virtual Filksing -- but it deserves much broader exposure.
I'm putting the lyrics here not only for my own reference, but for that of the internet at large. As far as I can determine, nobody's ever transcribed the song, and the sound quality on the mp3 is just grainy enough that some folks have a hard time distinguishing the words.
"Tech Support" - Jeffrey Hitchin
What did I do to deserve this All I needed was the work Now I pick up the phone and talk to stupid jerks
Thank you, sir, now could you stop swearing My fragile ego's been stomped All because you don't know your ass from a C:\ prompt
(As an aside, if anyone wants to help me puzzle out the three or four sections labeled "inaudible" or with question marks (?), I'd be grateful. In particular, figuring out what game he was interrupted from is going to drive me nuts. It's got to be something recognizable, probably a UNIX command-line or a solitaire-type game ... I just can't think of anything like that that sounds like "poing".) Edited to add: Well, hey! The artist is on LJ as jhitchin and dropped by in comments to fix my inaudibles. :-)
“And now, in honor of my reaching Kennedy Meadows and the end of the desert, the song that has been writing itself in my head for the last 250 miles.
[To the tune of the Indigo Girls' "Closer To Fine" - Lyrics in comments]
... Oh, and, by the way, if anyone wants to dig up a [karaoke and/or instrumental] copy of this song, or the previous one, I would be more than happy to record studio versions when I get back to civilization.”
(The following is sung to the tune of "Hello Mudda, Hello Faddah")
Hello Anne and hello Larry,
Here I am in Agua Dulce.
Town is neat and food is filling,
But the heat is on the verge of hiker-killing.
You've seen pictures of the Saufleys,
They keep hikers on their property
In a guest house, tents and RVs,
There were 60 there last week. Now that's a party!
There are things I've heard since stopping,
Hikers from the trail are dropping.
You remember poor No Way Ray?
The memorial will be two weeks after Monday.
Now I don't want this should freak youse,
Ladybird got bit by a recluse.
Pinhead's shin splints still aren't healing,
And believe me, I have felt that broken feeling!
Let me stay,
Oh Jeff and Donna,
Let me stay,
'Cause I don't wanna
Go out to the scary desert
Where I might get heat stroke and fall down.
Let me stay,
I promise I will pat the dogs,
And smell nice in my clean new togs
Oh please let me sleep in,
I need to zero again!
Darling Mudder, Dearest Fadder,
The Mojave's growing hotter
And the Saufleys' is so shady
There are so many excuses to keep waiting.
Wait a minute, clouds just blew in,
Cooler weather might be brewin'
I can't stop or I'll be bailin'
So Mudder, Fadder, kindly disregard this mailin'!
(DUM dum dum dum-dum-dum dum DA DA dum plink plink!)”
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silly
okay
reflective
creative
