Baxil [bakh-HEEL'], n.
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Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Baxil" journal:
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03:51 am
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There's one in every gaming group
Took a break from the campaign this week -- ended up playing a few rounds of Munchkin instead. As the last game of the night came to a close, I decided to play kingmaker:
Me: Alright, you're short by a point. Aaron, want my help for free?
Aaron: ...?! ... Sure!
Cole and Steven: WHAT? You can't do that! He'll win!
Me: I know. But you guys both made me lose my combat just now, and I'm the only character who wasn't even at level 9 at the time. Aaron didn't screw me over.
Cole: Aw, c'mon, that's not fair. We're talking about ending the game here! I've been nice to you all game and you're going to make him win just because I dumped on you once?
Me: Alright. Fine. (*thinks*) I'll give you a chance. Roll double sixes on 2d6 and I'll rescind my offer of help.
Cole's eyes light up.
He grabs his four Big Reds (old casino dice) from his bag. Tests them to see which are feeling generous tonight. Grabs the two highest. Stands up ...
... and down come boxcars.
'Course, this is also the guy whose AD&D character has no attribute less than 14, and whose d20 has long strings of refusing to roll anything less than an 18. Both with plenty of witnesses and on dice that don't roll equally well for others. This goes beyond Story Dice; this is a straight-up supernatural power. (He jokes that he's got a level or two in Fate Mage.)
Even Aaron ended up agreeing it was worth losing the game just to see that work. ("Cole, grab your character sheet.* You just earned a Fate Point**.")
--
* This isn't actually the first time that player actions have had character effects. We have a long-running campaign in-joke about the Pie skill. It has no actual in-game effects, but it exists and we can train up ranks in it. This is actually harder than it sounds, since the only way to get Pie points is to do something exceptionally cool out-of-game, usually but not always involving actual pie.
** House rule. Spend a Fate Point in-game to get an instant deus ex machina, like averting fatal damage or re-rolling any die just rolled. Only earned by doing something that probably should have required a Fate Point to pull off in the first place (like when I single-handedly routed a slaver camp).
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Mood:  amused
Tags: magic, roleplaying
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03:23 am
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Ask the Advice Dragon: The naming of names
I still get a fair amount of feedback on the Draconity FAQ (long overdue for an update, though I think it's handled the passage of time well). And of the questions I get asked, one pops up time and time and time again:
How do I find my dragon name?
I keep re-answering this to people individually via e-mail; I can't find my notes from the last few times I wrote up suggestions, so I'm going to copy and paste my latest answer here as notes-to-self for the eventual FAQ update.
If you have additional comments/questions/suggestions on the topic, or on the answer I gave, feel free to add them in comments. N.b.: Pretty much all of this applies to any search for a "true" name, draconic or otherwise.
--
It's always hard to know how to offer suggestions for something so personal, but I'll pass on a few methods that have had good results for other dragons:
- First of all, keep your ears (and your heart) open. If a particular name is lurking in your subconscious, when you hear it, it'll just feel right.
- Someone might tell it to you in a dream, or a magically inclined friend might suggest it to you. If it resonates, there you go. (And if this works out for you, consider yourself lucky. :))
- Sometimes playing with random letters can help jar your memory. Sit down with some Scrabble tiles, or an Ouija board, or a random syllable generator such as Yould (http://ygingras.net/yould). The point isn't to sit down and come up with The Real Thing on the first pass; the point is to find little bits and snatches of it that leap out at you, then play around with combining them, rolling sounds through your mind, giving your brain space to process it all and let it kick back an answer at its leisure.
- Also, don't be afraid to take a "temporary" name -- an Internet handle or a descriptive word or somesuch -- while you're waiting for inspiration to strike on the One True Dragon Name. Names are a matter of identity, and just having *something* to call yourself while you're looking for "the real thing" may be enough to settle you into your own skin (as it were) and let you identify with your dragon self.
Besides, sometimes names have a power all their own, and end up choosing *you* - and something you picked as a temporary handle might end up having enough deeper meaning that you decide to stick with it!
Current Location: ~/brainstorm
Current Mood:  insomnia
Tags: ask me a question, draconity, magic
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07:08 pm
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Notes from the underground
Got hit with a one-two punch today as I opened my my friends list, and the combination has left my reality a bit wobbly. In a good way. In the best way -- where reality and fiction are competing to tell the strangest tale, where you're fighting for balance in the middle as Story gets yanked back and forth, and nobody's quite sure where your footing is going to end up.
First up is the odd story of the Alameda-Weehawken Burrito Tunnel, via ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) luna_torquill; a Depression-era project to tunnel in a straight line between the San Francisco Bay Area and New York City*. Originally used to deliver mail, it was reappropriated by capitalists when airplane delivery made its original purpose obsolete.
On the heels of that, tangaroa linked to a Washington Post article where world-famous violinist Joshua Bell took his Stradivarius down to a D.C. subway station and played as a street performer for the better part of an hour.
There are so many (so to speak) "money quotes" in the latter story** that I don't know what to excerpt. It digs in for some brilliant points about the role of context in great art, and what made the audience react as they did. Plus bonus points for name-dropping koyaanisqatsi. But this is one of the lines that twisted the knife the most painfully:
There was no ethnic or demographic pattern to distinguish the people who stayed to watch Bell, or the ones who gave money, from that vast majority who hurried on past, unheeding. Whites, blacks and Asians, young and old, men and women, were represented in all three groups. But the behavior of one demographic remained absolutely consistent. Every single time a child walked past, he or she tried to stop and watch. And every single time, a parent scooted the kid away.
How much we forget as society programs us into adulthood!
--
* Not really, of course. This is alternate history in the same vein as my Dangerous Waters article, just grounded enough to make the wholly implausible parts maybe worth a second look.
** In a sad, wistful sort of way, this seems to me to be the sort of story waywind tags with "pronoia news network". I really wanted to work that into the main text somewhere, but couldn't make it fit; so consider this plug a piece of marginalia.
Current Location: ~calorg
Current Mood:  unsettled
Current Music: Internet radio from the '70s
Tags: link roundup, magic, writing
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04:24 am
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Tattoo tangent: The story of Nobody
I keep meaning to write about the meaning behind my new tattoo ... but every time I do, my mind drifts, and keeps settling back in on the story of Nobody.
That's unfortunate, because Nobody has very little to do with my tattoo. His story's not even one I like. But it's a tale that has stuck with me through decades and distance. Perhaps by sharing it I can come to some sort of peace with it.
( A bleak story from another time and place. )
Current Location: ~/computer_desk
Current Mood:  reflective
Current Music: "Homesick," Soul Asylum
Tags: draconity, magic
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04:41 am
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More on magical polarity
Based on comments to my previous post, I'm not the only one wondering about this: What's the relative prevalence and strength of magical polarity?
By "polarity" here, I mean the phenomenon I described that caused me trouble at ritual -- a mage, due to some combination of instinct or training, finding it easier to draw in energy from one side of the body and push it out from the other.
For example, I am "dominant-in" -- I'm left-handed, and on that dominant left side I find it much easier to draw in energy (and then push it out on the right). I also call this "counter-clockwise polar" because I'd be much more useful passing energy around a circle if that energy were circulating counter-clockwise among the participants.
Not everyone is polarized, and there's no "right" direction; it's just one of those things that happens, like handedness or sexual orientation. In my limited experience, polarity isn't necessarily tied to handedness, although I'd be curious to see some hard numbers for it.
Feel free to point your willworking friends at this poll; the bigger the sample size, the more useful the data gets. If you don't have an LJ account but want to chip in, leave a comment.
Poll #884510 Polarity vs. handedness
Open to: All, results viewable to: AllThe following best describes my energy polarity: I would describe my polarity as:
Current Location: ~/computer_desk
Current Mood:  curious
Tags: magic
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04:21 am
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Full moon ritual
Lesson one: This is what happens when you take two identical candles, light them less than 30 seconds apart and extinguish them together. Assuming, of course, that in the meantime you have dedicated one to the God and one to the Goddess, and let them burn for a ritual with 10 women and one lone male.
Tonight was a Gemini moon -- a tidbit I didn't know until I arrived at the full moon ritual downstairs, given my remarkable indifference to astrological trivia. The upshot is that it's a good time for things associated with the element of Air, most notably travel, communication, and abundance. The ritual was meant to focus our collective energies on these things and draw what we needed closer to us this month.
It wasn't meant to blow me out like a cheap fuse, but I got to appreciate a little bit of that as well.
( In which Baxil comes to appreciate the fine subtleties of magical polarity )
Current Location: ~/computer_desk
Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: Afro Celt Sound System, "Release"
Tags: magic
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08:14 pm
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Also, speaking of magic and cards ...
So ... back in the real world:
 | Second-round laydown
Hearts game 11/18/2006. |
kadyg, roaminrob, table_lamp and I were playing Hearts the other night. In among all of the fun we were having, something quite extraordinary happened: I shot the moon (claimed every single point) after just four cards had been played.
What makes it a genuine oddity -- or at least stretches the brain's pattern recognition in bizarre ways -- is that I picked up my hand to discover most of the cards you see in the picture ... plus three sevens.
I passed kadyg the three sevens. You remember what 7-7-7 means in Vegas, yes?
That's right: I promptly hit the jackpot, as her pass to me filled in the hand's only non-club gaps.
... Little moments like this are what renew my faith in the power of Story to shape reality.
--
* Observant readers may notice the absence of the Two of Clubs in the current (first) trick. This is due to the format of Table Lamp Hearts. The lamp happened to be holding the 2C, and since it plays randomly, when its first play was a different club we just went with that.
** Okay, so maybe this post was just an excuse to pretend our table lamp has an LJ name. So what of it? ;-)***
*** Edit, 11/21: Giving the lamp an actual journal wasn't my idea. But I approve. -B
Current Location: ~yuba
Current Mood: satisfied
Tags: geekery, magic
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05:38 pm
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The PCT as a spiritual journey
You've seen it in a hundred movies: The hero travels to the wilderness, has some sort of epic quest/giant showdown/inner epiphany that grants him the weapon/secret technique/inner strength/life lesson he needs to win in the climactic battle, and emerges triumphant. It's a powerful symbol, perhaps even a cliché. The wilderness (often, but not always, a desert) removes the character from their comfort zone, forces them to push their boundaries, offers a setting for a struggle unlike anything the hero has yet faced. They emerge stronger, wiser, and sometimes even spiritually enlightened.
I planned my trip as a transformative spiritual experience. It's been nearly two months now. So how has it measured up?
The bottom line is, this is one of the few areas in which my expectations have been at all close to reality. I doubted there would be any great epiphany, or even much time for abstract reflection. I knew it would be exhausting and drag my focus very much into the present and concrete. It has, in fact, been an extremely grounding experience. You tune your senses in so much to your body and your surroundings, out of safety if nothing else, that there just isn't really room for the transcendent.
It has been quite a spiritual journey -- in a Zen Buddhist sort of way. One long two-month koan. Life as spirit, spirit as life, moving with the rhythm of your surroundings. Walking the path in front of you, because it is your path to walk, learning to accept all of its twists and turns, both literal and metaphorical.
That doesn't mean there hasn't been room for spirit. Thea and Savi have been my constant companions, and, at times, guides and protectors. There was that odd and quite supernatural-feeling encounter with the cloud. There have been the moments and miles of connection -- with random local spirits, jigsaw parts of a greater whole, and with that whole itself. I don't know what to say about those, though, really. They've just been part of my trip, no more, no less than picking my feet up off the ground to take each new step.
For the most part, that's been the lesson I'm learning so far: That the spiritual connections are just sort of there, something that exists outside of me whether I'm watching or not, something I can choose to pick up and follow or choose to ignore as I go along. That they're just another part of life, another element in the grand and varied vista through which I trod.
--
(Out of Internet time again. The library has odd hours here. ... About 24 hours until kadyg's visit! Yay!)
Current Location: Mojave, Calif.
Current Mood: reflective
Current Music: Genesis' "Mad Man Moon" in my head
Tags: baxwalk pct, draconity, magic
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03:46 pm
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PCT Day 7
Day 7
Wednesday, May 3
Mileage - 77.4 [today: 19.7(!)]
Morale: 3->2->6 [major blister worries, horrible morning slog, but made mileage that surprised myself]
G - for Gimpin' it; Gotta keep moving; Granite Mountain; Great mileage
Blister cumulative total: 4 (and 2 hotspots)
I woke up lonely and worried. It took me the better part of an hour to patch up my feet -- I went for broke and used up the last of my duct tape and and much of my remaining blister kit, and created over-the-arch-of-the-foot straps to hold the tape in place that had been sliding around on me so much.
( In which there is much limping )
Tags: baxwalk pct, magic
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11:40 pm
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Marriage Watch: And now the reading of the minds will commence.
I normally stay far, far away from soda. I don't need the caffeine addiction, I don't like the carbonation, and I could probably do without the tooth rot. But, like any drug, there are times when it comes in genuinely useful, and once in a while I will drink a soda specifically for the caffeine jolt. (Since I don't normally touch it in any form, a single soda's worth will actually have the desired effects on me.)
Friday afternoon, running short on sleep and long on work, I trundled upstairs to the vending machine and bought a can. This was noteworthy enough that I IM'ed dear wife kadyg at work to comment on it. And thus Teh Spooky began:
[14:27] me: mmm, tasty tasty caffeine.
[14:28] kady: What are you drinking? I'm having a diet Dr. Pepper.
[14:31] me: Me too, oddly enough.
[14:31] me: I needed the boost and it was the least objectionable drink in the vending machine.
[14:31] kady: Awww, we're soda twins.
[14:32] me: I just find it funny that the one time this year I'm drinking soda pop you happen to be independently having one too. We'll have to start completing each others' sentences.
[14:37] kady: And this is the first bottle of pop I've bought in months.
In Kady's words, "Yep, we are just too fucking cute. :-P"
Current Mood:  spoooooooky!
Current Music: Joe Rinoie, "Synchronized Love" (DDR 4th Mix)
Tags: magic, wedding
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12:04 am
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Winampmancy, and a riddle
Alright ... so, yeah, I'm a mage, I should be used to (*makes little quote marks with fingers*) "coincidences." Still, these things happen. They catch you off guard.
I was doing some thinking this morning about the TTU story I'm writing*; a few things about where Kiasu picked up his ability to work magic fell into place, and along the way - I'm not quite sure where - the glimmerings of a riddle to insert into the story sprang up. I got to work, tapped out a few notes into Notepad as I sat down at the computer, and promptly forgot about it until after deadline.
A few minutes ago, I opened the window back up, went "Ah!" and whacked my head against it some more. I had a few of the elements, but it was an uphill struggle to fit it all into a nice little poem. The first two lines came together without much grief, but coming up with a rhyme that would let me work in the other hints slowed me down, and suddenly right around the time I was kicking line three into place Winamp starts playing a song that answers the riddle.
No, really: The title of the song is the complete, succinct answer to the riddle. And it's mentioned quite repeatedly throughout the chorus.
That all having been said -- hey, if Winamp can guess it, I should give you a chance too. I'll print the riddle below; comments will be screened, and correct answers will be acknowledged without de-screening in order to give everyone a chance to join in. :)
They fear to gaze upon his face
and fear yet more to touch
Yet weak or bold, they take his gold
With praise both bright and lush.
--
* Well, alright, I haven't set a single word to paper yet. But I've got a page of written notes and I'm on about the third draft inside my head, fleshing out the outline to where it just needs to burst out onto the screen.
Edit, 7-11-05: Comments now descreened. Congratulations to our winners!
Current Mood: impressed
Current Music: Tom Bailey singing the answer
Tags: magic, riddles
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02:11 pm
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QotD
"If you were me, and had this happen to you, I'm sure you wouldn't be able to leave it alone. You would seek a theory that would account for it. For over four years now, I have been trying one theory after another ..."
- Science fiction writer Philip K. Dick, speaking for everyone who has ever had a mystical experience, as he quite earnestly discusses a theory of his that maybe we're actually living in 50 A.D. and any evidence we see to the contrary is a manufactured reality we've drawn up to fool ourselves.
(Personally, I find that idea batshit crazy -- but then, he'd find my ideas batshit crazy, and I'm sure we'd both be able to agree that any number of ideas for reality that billions of other people have assembled are equally batshit crazy. We're a world of batshit crazies, we are.
... But I exaggerate for effect. Us people who acknowledge the weirdness of our own beliefs do tend to take a more lenient view toward others'. And it's becoming increasingly clear to me as I age and my horizons broaden that the collision between reality and sanity is not that reality is too small to incorporate all the "batshit-crazy" theories; it's that it's so big it includes all of them.)
Current Music: "Money," Pink Floyd
Tags: draconity, magic
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04:30 pm
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Wow!
A pagan festival! In Placer County! "Even more Republican than Orange County" Placer County!
Frankly, I know nothing about this other than that it exists -- it may be fluffbunny. But I'm at a state right now where I wouldn't mind a little more fluff in my life. (Plus, it's nearly free and I don't have to plan to skip work for it like I would for Pantheacon.)
And it's this weekend, no less! I'm going to have to make plans ...
Anyone else within driving range and interested in going?
(Oh, and for the BayCon crowd -- Avalon Rising is performing Sunday at 3.)
Current Mood: Pleasantly surprised
Current Music: Some Scissor Sisters song on Radio KoL (www.radio-kol.com)
Tags: magic
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10:04 pm
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Happy Christmas to me, I guess.
On an alternate version of earth, on which people wander about as dragons and draconids, I got an unexpected Christmas present: Having my grudge against physics dispelled.
On the canonical version of earth, on which people wonder about dragons' existence, I got an unexpected Christmas present: the flu.
Not that I have anything against this earth. I'm just sayin'.
...
Also, new Final Fantasy Tactics usericons! Yay!
Current Mood:  blah
Current Music: DJ StarBLaSt -- "Tatsumakisenputronic" OC Remix
Tags: magic
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01:54 am
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The sly and subtle art
So I'm uploading the stories for tomorrow's newspaper onto my employer's Web site, as I always do right before leaving work.
I get to today's top story -- some local researchers have discovered that the first gold found in Auburn during the California Gold Rush, in 1848, may not have been found where everybody assumes it was found.
Along with the top stories, we upload the artwork that was used with the story. The secondary art -- of the two researchers -- I named "1001gold.jpg," because that's what the story package was slugged, and that way I could keep everything straight when I went to do the actual uploading. The dominant photo on the front page -- as those in the biz call it, the day's "lead art" -- was a picture of a statue of Claude Chana, the prospector in question. I uploaded the file as "1001lead.jpg", as is our standard style.
And it suddenly strikes me, while I'm linking the story and the two pictures together so that they'll appear with the proper relative placement, just how arcane all this is. Think about it. At my command I have this stack of ingredients -- bits of data, ones and zeroes, some of which display as brightly colored pixels and some of which display as words. I'm putting them together with predefined recipes that, at some deep level four steps removed from my immediate comprehension, tell this silent, boxy servant on my desk how to turn those ingredients into a Web page.
I'm messing with magic. At base it's all ones and zeroes, but up here, in the world of people, it's arcane and arbitrary formulas that create strange and wonderful results -- and the more you let yourself stop and think about it, the more inscrutable the process becomes. How does the Web browser parse the HTML? How does the operating system interpret the Web browser's instructions? How do the little electronic pathways of the CPU turn the operating system's pulses of energy into meaningful data?
It's alchemy, I tell you. I stopped and thought about this, and I felt like a medieval alchemist mixing strange potions into miracle cures.
But then I took a deep breath and paused for a reality check. Just because it's inscrutable from here doesn't mean that it doesn't have perfectly rational explanations all the way down to every single electron. It may be unnerving, but it's solid, predictable rules. No matter how crazy the process of assembling the photos properly might seem from a detached perspective ... this isn't alchemy; it's science.
Thus reassured, I shrugged, and continued chaining lead.jpg into gold.jpg.
Current Mood:  devious
Current Music: "Decisive Battle," Final Fantasy Tactics OST
Tags: magic, newspapers, wordplay
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03:27 am
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A question for the mages in the audience
Some back-and-forth over at a friend's journal got me very curious about this. It's pretty self-explanatory, I hope, so I'll just cut to the chase:
Poll #154747 Past-life scatter
Open to: All, results viewable to: AllOf the (here-incarnate) people who you know in this life, how many of them are people you've encountered in a past life? Of the people who played memorable or significant roles in the past lives you've explored, how many of them have you met again here?
(Clarification: In the second question, "Met again here" refers only to people incarnate here on Earth. Not spirits or folks visited via astral travel. -B)
Statistics, of course, prove nothing, and this sort of non-rigorous statistic even less so; but I haven't talked to practically anyone about these sorts of demographics, and I'm curious to see even what a spot poll suggests. Discussion of the poll answers might prove equally interesting.
(Please refrain from talk in the comments questioning the validity of the whole past-life thing; it's a fair cop, but not what I'm looking for here. If you think such a discussion is necessary, start one in your own journal or forum and link to it in a comment. This post is a Woo-Woo Safety Zone, albeit an entirely public one.)
Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: Wolfstone, "Fingal's Cave"
Tags: magic
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11:30 pm
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Since my friends list is talking about Zen today
I noticed a poster on some other online forum authoritatively making the following comment recently:
"The whole point of reincarnation is to break the cycle."
I realize this works for Zen Buddhists, but, y'know, why is it assumed that everyone who believes in reincarnation chooses to believe this?
Isn't saying "the POINT of reincarnation is to STOP REINCARNATING" like saying the point of playing Monopoly is to get the game over with?
Maybe some people play that way, but I'm not going to sit down at a Monopoly board unless I'm going to enjoy the time spent; and if the game isn't fun, we can try making it fun rather than walking.
Current Mood:  restless
Current Music: Rick Astley, "The Ones You Love" (yes, Astley. So sue me)
Tags: magic
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06:49 am
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Resurrecting an old meme
Thanks to malytwotails originally, and mr_silvers, whose October 2001 post I stole this from. ];=8)
The Maly Magick Survey
The basics -
Magickal Names (if any): The only two I use are the one everyone knows; and the one I won't tell you.
Specific area of magical practice: Eclectic Pagan. It's so much more efficient to know what you're doing than to have rituals to do the knowing for you.
How long have you been practicing? I met my first teacher in late 1995. Before that, it was basically random flailing around, and doesn't count.
The totems -
Do you have any totems? I'm with the shamans on this one: A totem is something that chooses _you_. Nobody's really made it _clear_ to me that I've been chosen as of yet.
Real animal totems: The only one that might even possibly be totemic is Crow. Thsoe of you who know me will immediately agree that, if this is the case, it speaks volumes about Crow's sense of irony.
Mythics: I am a dragon. In some sense, then, dragon could have been said to "choose" me. But I don't think of it that way; it's an internal rather than external force.
Do you have any familiars? Not in that sense of the word. Three spirits live with me full-time and help me keep my house in order, though.
Own any images/statues IRL of your totems? Strictly, no. Lots of dragon stuff though.
The gods -
Any hierarchy you particularly like? Among Earth gods, none really stand out. I find a certain beauty in the Greek mythos ... but, sheesh, those fellas were like a bunch of third-graders stuck on a deserted isle. No restraint at all.
Name one god/goddess who you particularly like, and why: Coyote. There's something very Zen about him. He's not exactly the best role model, but it's hard to deny the lesson he teaches.
The other stuff -
Solo practicioner or groups? Solo.
Favorite implements/tools: There are only two items that really have any meaning for me: a talisman I received as a gift from Mum; and my staff.
Do you own any ritual clothing? What kind? I can't really fathom the idea. Well, no, check that. If I lived in warmer climates I'd love a nice, good-quality loincloth. I'm not sure I can explain the significance of that in a paragraph or less.
Do you believe in using magick in a negative fashion? I believe one should not keep enemies. I also believe one should not go about making them. 'Bad' magic has its place: self-defense, as a last resort, and should never be approached halfheartedly.
Do you hate "them?" (the Christians): Wish that certain of them would read their own damn books and learn a little about tolerance, yes. Hate? Only the ones actively repressing me. *looks around* Don't see any here; I think they're safe.
Name the most magickal place you've ever been: Mountaintops. Ritual supply stores. Many churches. Old ruins. Las Vegas, but not in a good way.
Is there any area of magick you'd like to learn more about? I could use a refresher course in dreamwalking; Thea's my big resource on that for now. I'd love to know a little about herbalism and/or crystals so that I had some simple remedies to prescribe my non-magically-active friends when they have to deal with spiritual matters intruding into their lives; eclecticism is powerful but the learning curve is steep.
Current Mood:  loved
Current Music: Rick Heizman, "Driftwood"
Tags: magic, meme
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