Baxil [bakh-HEEL'], n.

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Below are the 17 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Baxil" journal:

May 19th, 2008
11:34 pm [Link]	Doing it wrong No no no ... You're supposed to cover breaking news events, not break newsmen covering events! (Link is worksafe, though contains photo of javelin injury.) Current Location: ~journal Current Mood: morbidly amused Current Music: Fatboy Slim, "Rockafella Skank" Tags: newspapers, wordplay (7 comments \| Leave a comment)
January 17th, 2006
05:36 am [Link]	Obituary typo of the day: The name "Manual Pinto." I wonder if his wife was named "Automatic?" Current Mood: hee. Current Music: Hazel Blue, "The Fog" Tags: newspapers (1 comment \| Leave a comment)
January 7th, 2006
09:09 pm [Link]	falls off chair Actual quote from a meeting announcement I'm editing just now for tomorrow's paper: "Barbara Leak will be the group vacillator." Current Mood: giggly Current Music: Nine Inch Nails, "The Line Begins To Blur" Tags: newspapers (4 comments \| Leave a comment)
December 26th, 2005
12:06 am [Link]	"Dispatch, we've got a Code 666 on Alioto ..." Here's hoping that the demons are leaving you alone this holiday season. (T-minus 6 days to wedding. Free time vanishing. Maybe the demons are stealing it.) -- Update: I am reminded that The Union requires reader registration. Another good chance to point out BugMeNot. But if you don't want to go through the extra step, I'm linking to a police blotter, one of the items of which reads: "At 6:15 p.m., a man called from the 16000 block of Alioto Drive to report he had returned home the last few days to find his door unlocked. He remembered locking the door. He believed demons were responsible. Deputies were unable to locate any." Current Mood: brain-dead Current Music: "What's On Your Mind" - Information Society Tags: newspapers (5 comments \| Leave a comment)
September 15th, 2005
09:17 pm [Link]	OK, wtf? From an obituary I'm editing right now: "Born April 24, 1928, 77 years ago in Fresno, CA; died in Roseville at Sutter Memorial on Sept. 13, 2005 of a heart attack. He had a lengthy career in the trucking business. Former employers included: Abenshan, Miline, Cresent, Delta, De Anza, and ONC Trucking. Alec retired in 1993 from Willig Trucking after 35 years as manager. Alec was a veteran of the Korean War; he held the post of Commander for 4 years in the VFW Post 904. He belonged to the Rocklin (Calif.) American Legion and the Coodies." This sounds from context like it might be a military and/or local fraternal organization. Google: Nothing. You'd think if it was the slang term for a group like that, Google would at least point me in the right direction. I suspect it might be whoever typed up the obit for submittal to us misheard the group name, but I also can't think of anything similar offhand. Anyone have any idea what this is supposed to refer to? If I can get an answer in the next two hours, I should even be able to correct it for tomorrow's paper. -- Edit, 12:30 p.m. 9/16: I found it. Current Mood: mystified Current Music: Hurricane Sam, "Didn't It Rain" Tags: newspapers, riddles (20 comments \| Leave a comment)
August 13th, 2005
09:48 pm [Link]	Spotted in tomorrow's newspaper (And yes, I mean tomorrow's newspaper: I'm proofreading the page right now.) I know that technically, there's nothing wrong with these two paragraphs, but it just seems to me that the wording of the last sentence here could have been better chosen: A free showing of “Super Size Me” will be held at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, Aug. 23 at the Auburn Library, 350 Nevada St. It is presented by The Health Spine-Wellness Centers. The film will be followed by a brief discussion on health and diet. Snacks will be provided. Update - I cheerfully admit defeat. I have been outdone: `[21:47] kadyg: That's almost as good as "drinks will be provided" in the Breastfeeding Workshop notice that we keep running.` Current Mood: amused Current Music: Jim Hinde, "Frank, Dennis and Me" Tags: newspapers (3 comments \| Leave a comment)
April 29th, 2005
06:58 pm [Link]	True tales from the newsroom Amazing, the things people will call a newspaper to find out ... `phone rings` BAXIL: (ASIDE) I am the only person in the office, and even though it's a Friday evening and we don't publish tomorrow, it's not nearly late enough at night for me to blow off the call under the "everyone's gone home" excuse. `BAXIL grabs the phone` BAXIL: Auburn Journal newsroom. Tad speaking. CALLER: (In a frail, old womanly voice) Yes, what is the date? BAXIL: (caught off guard) Um ... uh. Friday, April 29. CALLER: Thank you very much. (hangs up) BAXIL: ... Current Mood: wired Current Music: Hemstock & Jennings feat. Adam White - "Reverence" Tags: newspapers (7 comments \| Leave a comment)
April 28th, 2005
03:31 am [Link]	Why I don't rely on spell-checkers Actual mistake caught and corrected at work today: Free patriotic infections to each thousandth guest! Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: The Wingless, "Guardian Legend Hyperion OC Remix" Tags: newspapers (6 comments \| Leave a comment)
March 11th, 2005
08:45 pm [Link]	Today's top news story Associated Press via Las Vegas Sun: FALLON, Nev. (AP) - A Fallon teen has pleaded guilty to stabbing a llama to death with his younger brother. We report, you deride. (Comments open to both obvious and subtle snarks, although let's keep the repetition of the obvious one to a minimum.) Current Mood: busy Current Music: "Brother of Mine," Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe Tags: newspapers, wordplay (10 comments \| Leave a comment)
October 5th, 2004
11:57 pm [Link]	Things not to put in your obituary This may not be the worst euphemism for death ever, but it's certainly one of the worst I've seen in the paid funeral notices (over which we have no editorial control) in my two years at the Journal: Leslie Parrish Dyer translated from this long life due to lung complications September 16, 2004 ... And the rest of the sentence sure doesn't help its gravitas: ... in Cumbaya, Ecuador. It sounds like someone tried to borrow a punchline to an "Old linguists never die ..." joke. Except most old X never die jokes are funnier. In other news, this video is a well-made and useful reminder as we near the election of what our Republican leaders think we should be thinking about. (Via Oliver Willis, via Atrios.) Current Mood: fatigued Current Music: Bruce Hornsby, "Sunlight Moon" Tags: newspapers (3 comments \| Leave a comment)
September 2nd, 2004
02:56 pm [Link]	"I feel for those people. But I think some of their relative is still in our attic" It's the craze of the new millennium: Afterlife skydiving lessons! No parachute required! And speaking professionally, as a newspaper headline writer, I have to say that I like the Hillsboro Argus' take on it: "Ashes to ashes, dust to roof." Current Mood: amused Current Music: SuperGreenX - Suikoden "Forgotten Daze" OC Remix Tags: newspapers (1 comment \| Leave a comment)
June 17th, 2004
08:44 pm [Link]	Typo of the day Was editing a news brief for the paper and only got as far as the first paragraph before bursting out in giggles: "Local thesbians will present 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer — the Musical' ..." Now if it were going to be "Xena: The Musical," those thesbians would have a sold-out house, guaranteed. But they'd definitely have to keep the kids out. Current Mood: amused Current Music: Sting, "Nothin' Bout Me" Tags: newspapers, wordplay (1 comment \| Leave a comment)
April 30th, 2004
03:28 pm [Link]	Fair and balanced 'R Us (The following is a secret transcript smuggled out from the bowels of a Liberal Media Establishment at great peril.) kadyg: Speaking of voting. Any thoughts to a poll question [for our website]? baxil: "Is George W. Bush the Antichrist?" kadyg: Kind of biased, dontcha think? baxil: The Truth (tm) always looks biased. kadyg: Oh, is that how you can find it in the middle of all the other stuff? baxil: Yes. baxil: He's the Antichrist. He's a moronic chimpanzee. He's the most dangerous man alive. He's an incompetent buffoon. These all look biased and therefore must all be simultaneously true. baxil: Whereas "Arnold Schwarzenegger is a movie star" doesn't look biased at all. Therefore it must not be true. And if we look at the reality, right now Schwarzenegger is the governor of California. So see? The "bias test" wins again! kadyg: Wow! That's amazing. Why don't more people know about this? baxil: They're biased. Current Mood: silly Current Music: OC Remix - Scott Peeples - "Tail Cave (Beatdown Mix)" Tags: newspapers, politics, wordplay (2 comments \| Leave a comment)
February 26th, 2004
03:08 am [Link]	Go, Livejournal, go! It started here in twin_cities. Then it started getting noticed around the Web. And now it's here, worldwide news on the Associated Press wire, probably to be picked up by other sources in tomorrow's news cycle. Never let yourself think that a simple post to your journal can't make a big difference to the world. (Granted, very few will, but that shouldn't stop you from trying.) Current Mood: proud Current Music: Afro Celt Sound System, "Amber" Tags: newspapers (5 comments \| Leave a comment)
October 1st, 2003
01:54 am [Link]	The sly and subtle art So I'm uploading the stories for tomorrow's newspaper onto my employer's Web site, as I always do right before leaving work. I get to today's top story -- some local researchers have discovered that the first gold found in Auburn during the California Gold Rush, in 1848, may not have been found where everybody assumes it was found. Along with the top stories, we upload the artwork that was used with the story. The secondary art -- of the two researchers -- I named "1001gold.jpg," because that's what the story package was slugged, and that way I could keep everything straight when I went to do the actual uploading. The dominant photo on the front page -- as those in the biz call it, the day's "lead art" -- was a picture of a statue of Claude Chana, the prospector in question. I uploaded the file as "1001lead.jpg", as is our standard style. And it suddenly strikes me, while I'm linking the story and the two pictures together so that they'll appear with the proper relative placement, just how arcane all this is. Think about it. At my command I have this stack of ingredients -- bits of data, ones and zeroes, some of which display as brightly colored pixels and some of which display as words. I'm putting them together with predefined recipes that, at some deep level four steps removed from my immediate comprehension, tell this silent, boxy servant on my desk how to turn those ingredients into a Web page. I'm messing with magic. At base it's all ones and zeroes, but up here, in the world of people, it's arcane and arbitrary formulas that create strange and wonderful results -- and the more you let yourself stop and think about it, the more inscrutable the process becomes. How does the Web browser parse the HTML? How does the operating system interpret the Web browser's instructions? How do the little electronic pathways of the CPU turn the operating system's pulses of energy into meaningful data? It's alchemy, I tell you. I stopped and thought about this, and I felt like a medieval alchemist mixing strange potions into miracle cures. But then I took a deep breath and paused for a reality check. Just because it's inscrutable from here doesn't mean that it doesn't have perfectly rational explanations all the way down to every single electron. It may be unnerving, but it's solid, predictable rules. No matter how crazy the process of assembling the photos properly might seem from a detached perspective ... this isn't alchemy; it's science. Thus reassured, I shrugged, and continued chaining lead.jpg into gold.jpg. Current Mood: devious Current Music: "Decisive Battle," Final Fantasy Tactics OST Tags: magic, newspapers, wordplay (11 comments \| Leave a comment)
February 12th, 2003
01:59 am [Link]	It's News Reporting, with Mr. Science! Quote of the day, from an article on endangered insects via Fark: A rat eradication feasibility study is underway on Lord Howe and if successful, the program would make Lord Howe Island (population 300) the largest habitated island on earth completely free of introduced mammals. I wonder if this is the writer that Clinton got his definition of sex from. Current Mood: geeky Current Music: Jared Hudson, "Xenogears Uncaptured Jewel OC ReMix" Tags: newspapers (4 comments \| Leave a comment)
October 28th, 2002
02:33 am [Link]	o/~ I read the news today, oh boy ... I have to say one thing about working at a newspaper. As much as I love the job, and as much as I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, and as ultimately rewarding as it is compared to the billions of corporate menial jobs I could otherwise be paying the bills with ... After a while it just all bleeds together. After a while this cynicism about humanity just grips you; you detach yourself from the brutality and the senselessness of, say, the recent sniper shootings around Washington, D.C. You stop thinking, "My god! How horrible!" and start thinking, "Okay. This latest victim was only wounded. Is that strong enough for a front-page story, or should we put it in the news digest on A3?" And you can't escape it. That's why I found the Evolution Control Committee's "Rocked by Rape" such a joy to listen to; it transforms the whole mess into a theater of the absurd. Psst. It is possible to download it here, along with 20 other songs of similar high quality. Although I of course must condemn that site in the strongest possible terms, because the music is illegal, and starving multi-millionaires are being deprived of a few pennies in royalties every time someone listens to one of the songs. Plus, it makes Baby Jesus cry, and God kills kittens when you do it. So do not download this song that brightened my evening immensely and that I think is one of the catchiest social commentaries I've heard in months. Do not do this. Because I'll have to report you to the RIAA. ... Right after I delete the file (which I only downloaded to confirm it was in fact illegal so that I could report it) off of my hard drive. And move to the Bible Belt, buy a new SUV, and renounce my draconity. (I'll get started on those as soon as possible.) Current Mood: amused Current Music: Evolution Control Committee, "Rocked by Rape" Tags: newspapers (22 comments \| Leave a comment)

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