“[Spoken throughout in a cheesy British accent. Should really be listened to for the full effect.]

The Thru-Hiker's Guide to the PCT has this to say on the subject of Deep Creek Hot Springs:

"Hot springs and cold creek."

This is a understatement, much like calling Earth "Mostly harmless," in that both fail to mention a rare amoeba in the hot springs' water that has killed some swimmers with meningoencephalitis. Despite this, and despite its remote location, hikers and others still flock to its warm, soothing waters. The hot springs, that is, not Earth.

Though the official PCT book puts its warning in bold print, not one hiker was observed to skip their chance for a soak. And although the Deep Creek Hot Springs are five miles from anywhere not the Deep Creek Hot Springs, that didn't stop half a dozen non-hikers from joining in the festivities. It didn't even stop the guy whose first and last words to me were both [California stoner accent] "Have you got any shrooms?"

The Thru-Hiker's Guide to the PCT also fails to mention a piece of trail lore discussed well in advance of the actual visit: The Hot Springs are a locally well-known nude bathing spot. Thru-hikers being either a modest or cowardly lot, however, bathing suits and underwear were much in fashion.

Photographic evidence was, however, obtained of the buttocks of one birthday-suited chap, an older man of athletic build and uncut willie.

From this we must conclude that the population of Deep Creek Hot Springs is also, sadly, Mostly Harmless.”

“[Spoken throughout in a corny British accent - should really be listened to]

The Thru-Hikers Guide to the PCT has this to say on the subject of the Jose Burger:

"The Jose Burger at the Paradise Cafe is a miracle. It's enough to inspire a following of cultish fanaticism to be rivaled only by politics, football, religion and, well, thru-hiking."

The subject of its divine origin is hotly contested, and has even led to a holy war on the lunar colony of Romular 3 -- the resulting devastation of which led to a ban on its manufacture across all quadrants of space. Which is a shame.

It goes on to say: "The Jose Burger at the Paradise Cafe on the Pines-to-Palms highway is the best burger on the trail. Swiss cheese, bacon, avacado, mushrooms, green chiles, tomato, onion, lettuce, and pickles. I've got a fuzzy, out-of-focus picture of one. Glory and I were in shock and awe when they came out. Quite literally I had to eat the burger in sections: work on the top part, then in the middle, then attack a corner of the bottom, etc."

While not quite as colossal as described, the burger is in fact reported to be sufficient to quell the appetite of the ravenous Bug-Blatter Beast of the Trail - who has been observed to have walked 42 miles in 48 hours and has been known to affect a ridiculous British accent in order to obtain one.”