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The things that seem awesome at 2 AM - Baxil [bakh-HEEL'], n. My Sites [Tomorrowlands] [The TTU Wiki] [Photos]
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April 1st, 2007
03:48 pm
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The things that seem awesome at 2 AM
The scene: Sunday morning, 4-1-2007. Early sunlight shines on an ungainly pile of blankets in a second-story bedroom.
The sounds: Traffic noises, and the moaning of someone trying to block them out with a pillow over the ears.
The cat: Steering well clear of the tipped bottle at the foot of the bed. A patch of dark-stained carpet reeks of wine cooler.
The conversation:
The illustrated man

4-1-07: My second tattoo! It seemed like a good idea at the time.

The illustrated man (detail)

The topographic map of my elbow. Note Bonespur Peak at left; Surgery Way atop the scar; and the llama farm.

Bax: Get off my arm.
Kady: I'm not on your arm.
Bax: Yes you are. It hurts.
Kady: So does my head, sweetie. So please shut up.
Bax: I'm telling you, you're ... oh, never mind.
Kady: (mutters) I knew I should have drank more water.
Bax: What time is it?
Kady: Your watch is on the bedside table.
Bax: *gropes for it*
Kady: What's that on your arm?
Bax: What's what on my arm?
Kady: Oh, shit.
Bax: What?
Kady: You didn't.
Bax: Oh, shit.
Kady: Where did you even find a tattoo parlor?
Bax: I don't know! Rob drove me home.
Kady: ...
Bax: I distinctly remember us laughing about this idea last night. I don't remember anything about actually doing it.
Kady: *giggles*
Bax: What?
Kady: You know, it is still pretty funny.
Bax: ... I sure hope so.
Kady: (still laughing) At least you'll get a good LJ post out of this.

And at least I'm never going to get lost if I go hiking on my elbow. ;-p

--
Edited to add: Yes, April Fool's. :)

Current Location: ~calorg
Current Mood: drunkhung over
Current Music: head still throbbing
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(24 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
From:(Anonymous)
Date:April 1st, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
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*grins* That's hilarious.
From:lhexa
Date:April 1st, 2007 11:48 pm (UTC)
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Oops, I wasn't logged in. That's my comment above.
From:premchai21
Date:April 1st, 2007 11:51 pm (UTC)
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You realize the perspective is all wrong. :-P

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From:baxil
Date:April 2nd, 2007 04:46 am (UTC)
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Yeah, I probably should have taken an edge-on view too. Bonespur Peak really is on a circular bump on my arm (a permanent relic of the surgery to fix the break). The lake, however, doesn't correspond to anything.
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From:necama
Date:April 2nd, 2007 01:18 am (UTC)
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I have got to get me one of these!
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From:baxil
Date:April 2nd, 2007 04:47 am (UTC)
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Never lose a topo map to bad weather again!
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From:necama
Date:April 2nd, 2007 02:52 pm (UTC)
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... or to nesting squirrels.
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From:zuki_san
Date:April 2nd, 2007 01:28 am (UTC)
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...April Fools? Please..?
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From:tangaroa
Date:April 2nd, 2007 01:48 am (UTC)
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Yeah, I'm hoping that's eyebrow pencil. If a joke, it's a really good one, outrageous but within the realm of possibility. If not... dude, know your limit.

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From:baxil
Date:April 2nd, 2007 05:10 am (UTC)
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While the date might lead you to be suspicious, and while your humble host has a track record of various April program-related truthiness episodes (and even some ambitious non-April attempts) ... I can categorically deny and refute any implications that I have misled the American public.

That's not eyebrow pencil, it's ink. Ink is in fact used in tattoos. And another person, besides me, actually applied that ink to my skin. There is documented evidence for these statements which I will release in a 2,800-page Friday night document dump. I hope this puts to rest the media's irresponsible rumor-mongering.
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From:soreth
Date:April 2nd, 2007 01:50 am (UTC)
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Funny how they didn't, you know SHAVE YOUR ARM. :) :) :) :)
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From:kinkyturtle
Date:April 2nd, 2007 04:30 am (UTC)
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Also amazing how the skin has already healed! Normally when someone gets a tattoo the lines have a reddish tinge from the blood that takes a few days to go away. :}
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From:baxil
Date:April 2nd, 2007 04:43 am (UTC)
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Er ... um ... it's because I ... that is, they ... uh ... they used the amazing new needle-free technology that was pioneered by Tattoos 4 Toddlers.

*cough* :)
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From:soreth
Date:April 2nd, 2007 05:11 am (UTC)
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You need to work on your recovery skills. ;)
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From:baxil
Date:April 2nd, 2007 05:23 am (UTC)
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Look at the kitty .... looooooooooooooooook at the kitty .... such cuteness ... it draws you in ... overloads your brain ... the cute is so much ... it makes you sleepy ...

That's good, right. Now look up at Donald Rumsfeld. Look into his eyes.

You will believe the Rummy. The Rummy does not lie.
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From:soreth
Date:April 2nd, 2007 07:14 am (UTC)
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Dude. Lightsabre. It gets me an automatic +20 bonus to resist mind control, hypnosis, gnosis, osmosis, and anything that can be cut in half in a cool manner.

Which includes Rumsfeld, but probably not kitties. Except for that one in Kung Fu Hustle, maybe.
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From:elynne
Date:April 2nd, 2007 06:42 pm (UTC)
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I finally saw the entire video that clip is taken from... didn't work for the cute little black & white kitten, either. *tackle* ;)
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From:hafoc
Date:April 2nd, 2007 01:58 am (UTC)
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Well, I have to take your word that you really did have this tatooed on your arm. After all, you're an upstanding, truthful, and honorable person. It would be most impolite of me to even assume the level of dishonesty required for this to be a joke.
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From:baphnedia
Date:April 2nd, 2007 05:17 am (UTC)
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Uhh, who might you be referring to? *lost*
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From:baxil
Date:April 2nd, 2007 05:18 am (UTC)
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Thank you for recognizing my inherent trustworthiness. It is good to find men of quality character even here on these Internets.

Oh, which reminds me: I've been meaning to ask about that $20 I loaned you last FurCon? ;-)
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From:hafoc
Date:April 2nd, 2007 10:37 am (UTC)
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Don't you remember? We used that as a down payment on a hotel margarita before we went out to get that other tattoo, the one on your.. ahem.
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From:baxil
Date:April 2nd, 2007 07:13 pm (UTC)
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> the one on your

-- NOSE!

("Nose? That don't rhyme with walls.")
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From:jrrhack
Date:April 2nd, 2007 11:15 am (UTC)
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Hahaha tthis is a lot of drunkness! funny tattoo tho
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From:momentrabbit
Date:April 2nd, 2007 01:53 pm (UTC)
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No no! The map is not the territory! Next time, have them tattoo the map on your other arm, so you can read one arm while you hike the other!

The medium is the massage. :)


(Brill, btw. ;)
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