Here at work -- at a dial-up ISP with a largely aging customer base -- we sometimes have occasion to discuss death. But the Great Beyond has really been on the boss' mind lately, as he has a dog who is approaching the final stages of a head tumor.

I tried to console him by pointing out that the dog can keep some of our beloved former customers company.

"You mean, the ones that switched to DSL?" he wisecracked back.

"That's a hell of a euphemism ..." was the only thing I could say.

Mommy, where's Gramma?
I'm sorry, Timmy, grams switched to DSL last week.

... At least you know it'll be quick.