October 4th, 2003

barometric waffle linguists (pic by me)

... ... ... ... ... ... ...


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh, my lump in the bed, how I’ve missed you.
Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too
Barney’s still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.

-- President George W. Bush


ALRIGHT. DID YOU VOTE FOR THIS MAN? DID ANY OF YOU VOTE FOR THIS MAN?!? YOU OWE THE WORLD AN APOLOGY. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Edit: If you're too lazy to click the link -- This is NOT SATIRE. Yes, this is REAL. This is COMPLETELY VERBATIM. Link via This Modern World, and independently verified via the Associated Press wire.

Much, much later edit: Never mind. :P See this for further explanation.
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barometric waffle linguists (pic by me)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

Okay, the Bush poetry was bad enough, but then I continue combing the Associated Press wire for work -- and now this:
Karl Kling, 48, is angered by claims that the actor groped women on movie sets and elsewhere, calling them vicious attempts to ruin Schwarzenegger politically. "It's the women who should be accused of sexual misconduct against him," Kling said. "Who wouldn't be happy to be touched by such a superstar?" (emphasis mine)
Remember, the "misconduct" in question that women should be "happy" about is alleged to include, but is not necessarily limited to:
  • grabbing three women's breasts;
  • reaching under one woman's skirt and grabbing her buttocks;
  • trying to remove one woman's bathing suit in a hotel elevator;
  • pulling one woman onto his lap and asking whether a certain sexual act had ever been performed on her.
DEAR FUCKING GODS, PEOPLE. SIX THOUSAND YEARS OF RECORDED CIVILIZATION. HUMANITY SHOULD BE PAST THIS SHIT BY NOW. OKTHXBYE.
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    Going back to "Cat Town - The Pie" for another hour or two
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