July 15th, 2004

classified outreach (pic by me)

Now introducing ...

There are relationships where two people, as if drawn together by fate, are both instantly smitten with each other and sense some sort of Undying Twue Wuv at work. There are relationships where one of the partners is so taken that they move heaven and earth to align the two of them and make things ultimately work out. And then there are the relationships that sort of creep up while nobody's looking and lurk in the background with a sly, subtle smile, and by the time you both notice it's too late to change your mind -- as if either of you wanted to in the first place.

My relationship with kadyg has definitely been one of the latter.

When we first started talking, back in December, I already had on my plate not only my commitment to dreamflow but also a long-distance courtship with halyn. I had extremely low expectations for Placer County's ability to produce potential partners with the ... well, fluorescence I would be looking for. And I hadn't made any close friends in the area that I wasn't already living with; I've always believed that relationships should only come from and build on close friendships. For her part, Kady had recently completed a cross-country move and a significant job change. Relationships were not exactly forefront in her mind.

But, well, when someone presses all your right turn-on buttons, it's hard to resist the lure. It was definitely a mutual geek crush. We got to talking -- then flirting -- when she signed on as webmistress for the newspaper I work at. One thing led to another, and she invited me back to her place for a drink round about December.

I immediately came clean about my availability status -- poly, but taken, and in the new stages of a relationship I didn't want to jinx by dividing my attention. But Kady remained interested, and the more we talked at work, the more things clicked into place for me. After some discussion with Rene -- and a month of impatience all around while I waited to see how our first face-to-face meeting would go -- the time became right for Kady and I to move things forward in late January.

What surprised both of us was the ease with which we meshed together. Like most American males, I have a difficult time opening up and being intimate (especially emotionally) with people I don't know and trust deeply. On top of that, I had some sexual nervousness to overcome, given a few elements of my relationship history. But Kady never made me feel like I had to second-guess myself, and handled even the odder aspects of my life with grace and empathy -- something which I could hardly take for granted, given that she was the first relationship I'd had since high school that I initially met outside the dragon community. (She also says she grew comfortable with me far quicker than she expected -- especially considering some less-than-ideal former experiences with magic and my openness about my spiritual activity -- but I'll leave that for her to elaborate on if she wishes.)

From those humble beginnings ... it's now been six months. We've watched movies, played Scrabble, visited cat shelters, swam beneath waterfalls, cooked homemade peanut sauce, and held deep conversations about the nature of the Tomorrowlands. I dropped by her place a few times, then stayed overnight once or twice, then once a week, and now I keep a change of clothes there.

She attended BayCon with me (and spent some significant time gossiping about me with elynne -- and when your current talks with your ex and they both corner you and tell you they like you more afterward, you know you're doing something right :)). I've dragged her onto Livejournal and now get the fascinating and flattering opportunity to read about her life (and the ways in which I'm making a difference in it). We curse our paper's Web provider together, both play KoL, and discovered by happy coincidence a mutual love of backpacking -- which is always a huge <3 in my book, and yet more evidence that sometimes pure chance just does land two interlocking jigsaw puzzle pieces adjacent to each other.

More importantly, she's comforted me over a certain nameless person's assholitude toward the loss of my son after being woken up at 8 AM on a weekend. Despite the fears she's expressed that there are parts of my life which we have a difficult time sharing ... anyone who I trust to do that -- anyone who I'd be willing to make that request of in the first place! -- is someone who I want to stay in my life, someone who means a great deal to me.

So everyone say hi to kadyg! We've made quite a difference in each others' lives so far, and I can only hope there's much more to come.

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