March 26th, 2005

epithet abrogation agent (FF Tactics)

Bizarro Bush

Let's talk about the nominations El Presidente has made so far this year. I've heard of three ... and I'm noticing a disturbing pattern emerging.

There was the position of Ambassador to the United Nations. The pick: John "There is no United Nations" Bolton.

There was the position of Fish and Wildlife Service director. The pick: Matthew J. Hogan, top lobbyist for a competitive trophy hunting group.

There was the position of Undersecretary of State, one of the nation's top foreign diplomatic posts. The pick: Karen Hughes, one of his spinmeisters with roughly zero actual foreign experience.

This is cronyism of the highest order ... but, well, for anyone who's actually been watching Bush, that's nothing new. This is appallingly stupid ... but, well, for anyone who's actually been watching, etc.

No -- the pattern I'm noticing is far deeper than that: Is it just me, or has Bush crossed the line from indifference to active perversity in his nominations? Seriously. This is beyond cluelessness here, it's walking into Bizarro World.

Bizarro government am sending ambassadors to NONEXISTENT ORGANIZATIONS! Bizarro United States am having neighbors INSIDE ITS BORDERS! Bizarro Wildlife Service am TROPHY HUNTING endangered species FOR FUTURE PRESERVATION!

I guess the advantage of it is that, once you realize you've walked through the looking glass, Bush's nominations become extremely simple to predict. To prove it, here are my Extremely Official Prognostications for some other positions he's going to need filling as retirements or Deviations From Official Party Line occur:

Health & Human Services Director: Catbert
Secretary of Education: Gene Ray
Council of Economic Advisers chair: "Baby Doc" Duvalier
NASA Director: Charles K. Johnson
Secretary of Labor: Beetle Bailey
Science and Technology Adviser: Samuel Lapp
Agriculture Secretary: Wiley Brooks

On the up side, maybe he'll have to pick a new Secret Service head.
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