September 28th, 2007

What's my line? (pic by Kinkyturtle)

WUTNWHWL!

Sorry for my silence lately -- been getting distracted with offline things such as Go, video games (Shadow Hearts: From The New World is my latest timesuck) and writing. Yep, writing. Still making slow by steady progress on the Ambitious Cat tales ... I just seem to have a knack for transforming tiny scene sketches into multi-thousand-word monsters.

While the latest story (which stars both Kiasu and the Redeemers -- and a great deal of subsequent fireworks) is still very much In Progress, I ran across a snippet in my old notes tonight that is ready to see the light of day. (For some value of "ready" that includes both "demented but hilarious" and "cringe-inducing," anyway.) It ... well, um, I think I'll just have to let it speak for itself.

So. Never-before-seen SONG LYRICS!




(*A catchy rock riff introduces an upbeat tune of the sort played by quirky yet talented college bands across the nation.*)

This singles bar is getting old.
I don't know why I came.
You look bored too. May I be bold
And ask you for your name?

Me? I'm a creature of the night
A real moonlight child.
You seem like the adventurous type --
Wanna go play ... doggy style?

We can --

(*Suddenly, with no warning, POWER CHORDS! And DRUM FLAILING! The ENTIRE BAND sings in ALMOST-HARMONY! With WOLVES HOWLING! And maybe a banjo, or a theremin, or something!*)

WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
With ...
HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV!

(*Back to the normal instrumentation, but more animated this time, and with 82% fewer pretensions of taking this seriously*)

You know, you're right, my line lacked taste
I'm grateful for the clue
You bit me with such canine grace
And fur is just so you.

Another wolf out cruising bars!
I can't believe my luck!
To celebrate this find of ours
Let's go out back and --

(*POWER CHORDS again! Of course.*)

WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
With ...
HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV!!

I know you're mad, but hear me out
This meeting must be fate
All these little signs -- like just now, when you threw me through that plate-glass window?
I LIKE that in a mate!

(*BRIDGE! Instrumental n' shit!** A drum solo in the finest tradition of epileptic seizures! Wolf howls! Ambulance sirens! Thrills!*)

You're right, I just can't take a no
But still, you can't disguise
Your tail wagging to and fro
The interest in your lovely eyes

I like your style -- hey, there's that smile!
C'mon, I'll take you home
Why, sure -- we'll chase sticks for a while
Before we bury some bones

As we
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
WAKE UP THE NEIGHBORS!
With ...
HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV!!

Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip!
AROOOOOOOO!!!
(*instrumental thrashing and howling, out*)




Anyway: This shamelessly silly TTU song is called
HOT WEREWOLF LUUUV
Written by The Howl in 1997, for their eponymous first album***

--
* This note left intentionally blank.
** Yes, this is how I wrote it out in the original scribbled lyrics page.
*** But, of course, out here in the non-TTU world it was really written by me.****
**** Oh, shit! I probably didn't want to admit that.
What's my line? (pic by Kinkyturtle)

Verbing with the best of them

Hey, kadyg, check it out! According to the Language Godfathers over at Oxford, 'chef' is now officially a verb!*

In fact, this entire sentence is now proper, high-class Officially Accepted English:

"My lovely wife's cheffing is so fricking gold star that I would walk across hot jaffle irons in my tighty-whities for a taste of her crème fraîche."

Toodles!

--

Edited to add: A fascinating piece of Oxford English Dictionary trivia (thanks to the magic of wikipedia): One of the most influential editors of the first edition OED was a schizophrenic man who cut off his own penis. Further tidbits here, at least until the WP anti-fun police remove the trivia section.



--

* Other great new additions if you didn't click on the link above**: "trepidatious" (which somehow wasn't officially a word until now), "wiki" and "irritainment."
** Which is probably smart of you. I made that mistake and then spent over an hour simply grabbing all the interesting-looking words and plugging them into Google.
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