September 3rd, 2010

fireborn eye

Don't say "ripoff." Say "homage."

Geez, I thought I'd have recovered from my hiking trip faster than this. But I've been spending my weeknights readjusting my sleep schedule and my weekend catching up with local friends. The computer looms in the background. Taunting me silently. With its eyes.*

So while I'm using Hugin to assemble cool panoramic shots from the trip in preparation for a big photo post, enjoy this gaming humor I produced in the spirit of the Mr. Welch series:

Things Mr. MacQuid is no longer allowed to do in Fireborn
  1. May not use the background Collector to start with an antiques shop with 50 karmic items.
  2. May not use the background Collector to start with a harem.
  3. No singing "I Believe I Can Fly" upon buying wings at Awakened Rank 1.
  4. ... Or at any other time.
  5. There is no secret fifth elemental attribute named "Heart."
  6. Even though I have the power Child of Fire, "who's your daddy?" is still a rhetorical question.
  7. No starting off flashbacks with the Wayne's World "Diddly-doo! Diddly-doo!" finger waves.
  8. No rating flashbacks on a "one-to-five 'shroom" scale.
  9. Smoking something that induced a flashback will not let me "re-enter it with better special effects".
  10. When I look at a strange woman and it induces a flashback, it is not appropriate to ask to "look at more of her in private".
  11. Staring at a cookie will not induce a flashback about elves.
  12. Eating ghost peppers will not give me the Fire Breathing legacy.
  13. The proper response to mages getting overkill successes is never to cook an egg on their head.
  14. Tall buildings plus Ephemeral Armor will not let me inflict falling damage on the Earth.
  15. Slow The Living does not change which partner finishes first.
  16. There is no variant of the spell "Flash" that involves raincoats.
  17. "Cthulhu" is not a valid Sire.
  18. "Cthulhu" is not a valid Alternate Form.
  19. "Pedobear" is not a valid Alternate Form.
  20. May not target Gaze of the Predator at children.
  21. Not allowed to create fighting style sequences with the Grope payoff.
  22. May not specify that my Venomous Attack injects LSD.
  23. May not call NPCs bought with the Ally edge "my minions".
  24. May not take Animal Affinity and Mentor in order to have been raised by wolves.
  25. No using Green Lord to make cats hold badly-spelled signs in Impact font.

* Note: Computers do not actually have eyes.