Baxil (baxil) wrote,

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Writing Quicktakes: Legislative complaints

A quicktake from the recent Writing Requests thread. More are on the way. Thank you all again for your creative kickstarts. :-)

Dear Citizen,

      Thank you for your submission about politician Rand-231. We value all feedback and are constantly trying to make your civic engagement more meaningful.
      We take all claims of product defects very seriously. Your report has been examined and automated testing has been completed, and we would like to confirm that Rand-231 is working correctly and as designed.
      In order to address your specific concerns, our technical support system has automatically reproduced several items from our list of Frequently Asked Questions. If you feel you have concerns that have not been addressed, please open another support request, reference your prior request number (#27B-6/10984262001) in the submission, and one of our technical support agents will contact you.

      Best Regards,

Eliza Sharopnikel
Diebold-Halliburton-Meshuggener Automated Feedback Response Team


      Thank you for submitting your request to our Frequently Asked Questions Retrieval System. Your original request follows for your reference. FAQ responses are automatically chosen via matching of keywords in your request. For the complete FAQ, visit and click on "FAQ."

Original Message:
> you damn godless commies. this is the LAST STRAW. i keep telling you
> our senator rand is broken. now it's getting worse. this week he voted for
> polygamy marriage with multiple guys. it's not bad enough the homos can
> marry, now they have to take OUR WOMEN too? i thought he was supposed
> to represent us and pocatello-brigham is the second most conservative
> (AMERICAN) district in the sixty-three UNITED STATES according to
> fox global's two-minute infuriating facts. I would expect this from a copy
> of senator clinton but there's NO WAY a rand should support that kind of
> abomination of a bill! HOW DARE YOU!!!~ next it'll be abortion and then
> maybe he can make it legal for your mom to abort YOU and dump your
> fetus in the SAN FRANCISCO bay. then we can code our own senator
> and finally get some real AMERICAN values in the heartland of our
> country. and bring back flag worship - we need theocratic rule - GOD
> BLESS THE USA you atheist nazis. LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Relevant FAQs:

22. What models of RoboSenator are available?

      In order to begin the transition from polarized gridlock to automated progress, RoboSenator Version 1 shipped in 2032 with support for several classic lawmaking styles then in favor: the Clinton, the Kennedy, the Gingrich and the McCarthy. Two years later, several moderate models were prototyped -- the "Waffler," the "Apathetic," and the "Compromiser" -- as well as beta releases of ideological models released by political party coders: the Rand, the Reagan and the Roosevelt.
      Due to popular demand, several historical models are scheduled for a 2038 release: the Stalin, the Mao, the Khan, and the Richelieu.

25. How does my RoboSenator become more responsive to the needs of its constituents?

      The ability that sets DHM's RoboSenators apart from the competition is the self-modifying nature of their code. Each district's senator is copied as a snapshot from the current development tree of that stock model, and then allowed to change its voting parameters based on input from its district. It does this through a combination of polling, blog-scanning, and event tracking, weighted by our proprietary metrics.

27. An issue polls at less than 50% support in my district. Why is my RoboSenator voting for it?

      Because several factors are individually considered in determining a RoboSenator's parameter self-adjustment, polls by themselves do not always match a RoboSenator's voting record. Some, but not all, of the reasons for this include:
  • Issues are ranked by importance in district polling. For issues weighted as "unimportant" or "marginal," polls are only a minor factor, superseded by other measures of civic engagement such as rallies or blog posts.
  • Due to differences in poll wording, support numbers reported on your local newscast may differ from those collected by the RoboSenator's unbiased heuristic modeling.
  • RoboSenator models start with their own weighting on various issues, viewable in the per-model source code at New RoboSenators may take some time to learn the views of their exact district.

31. My RoboSenator supports an issue that most other RoboSenators of that model do not support.

      Due to regional variations between different voting districts, your RoboSenator will differ from other RoboSenators of same or similar model. This is by design. Your RoboSenator is responding to the needs or desires of your district.

32. My RoboSenator supports an issue that the model's namesake would have disagreed with.

      Due to parameter self-adjustments, your RoboSenator will not always retain the initial settings it had upon deployment to your region. This is by design. Your RoboSenator is responding to the needs or desires of your district.

34. My RoboSenator supports an issue that seems unlikely given my area's (conservative/liberal) rating.

      Due to regional variations between different voting districts, your RoboSenator will differ from other RoboSenators representing similarly ranked districts. This is by design. Your RoboSenator is responding to the needs or desires of your district. Factors such as ethnicity or religion often play a role. For instance, areas high in members of Church of Jesus Christ of Final-Days Saints are often "conservative" but support issues such as plural marriage; and areas high in members of Church of the New Holy Roman Empire are often "liberal" but oppose issues such as abortion.

42. My RoboSenator has recently changed its opinion on an issue even though there have been no polling or district changes for months.

      Due to the algorithms that guide self-modification in RoboSenator parameters, voting district changes (such as annual redistricting) can take several months to be reflected in voting patterns. This is by design. The algorithms are designed to resist manipulation by only responding to trends observed over time, discarding outlying results caused by blogbombing or flash micromobs.

78. How can I get my RoboSenator to support a particular issue?

      While it is extremely hard for activists to overcome raw polling numbers on issues important to your district, your RoboSenator responds favorably to continued, consistent direct action and advocacy on most issues. Organizing rallies, news coverage or blog coverage in favor of your issue are all statistically proven ways to influence RoboSenator voting, especially on issues identified as locally unimportant or locally marginal.

163. Is your company run by atheist commies?

      Eric Meshuggener is an atheist commie. However, he is outvoted 2-1 on our governing board. The other two are on your side.

164. Is your company run by theocratic nazis?

      James Halliburton VI is a theocratic nazi. However, he is outvoted 2-1 on our governing board. The other two are on your side.

      Have a nice day,

Hal Megillah
Diebold-Halliburton-Meshuggener Automated Feedback Response Team
Tags: microfic, politics, writing

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