What are your middle names?
I'm an L., she's a J. But I have the affectation of signing my initials "TYR" because it looks cooler, and Kady signs her initials "KDG" because "KD" is pronounced the same as her name. The Y and the D don't stand for anything.*
How long have you been together?
Our first going-out-somewhere-together date was Valentine's Day 2004, marriage was 12/31/2005.
How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Um ... a month or two? Instant mutual geek crush when we started working two desks apart.
Who asked whom out?
I fumbled around a bit and stammered and she invited me back to her place for wine and we spent a lovely evening talking and, um, stuff.
How old are each of you?
I'm turning (0b)100,000 later this year and she just turned (0x)23. And yet she seems to think she's older.
Whose siblings do you see the most?
Mine, which I think we're both okay with.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
They say that the overwhelming majority of marital disagreements are over sex, money or children. We're currently struggling with the usual problems, mostly the latter two.
Did you go to the same school?
Ummm yeah no. We met at work.
Are you from the same home town?
Not even the same home time zone.
Who is smarter?
I am so not even going to go there.
We played Scrabble our first night together. We took pictures of the board.
Who is the most sensitive?
Honestly, I don't see either of us as the "sensitive" type in the classical "readily emotional" way. If you read "sensitive" as "attuned to metaphysical sensations," she's an empath and I talk to spirits. So, um, tie.
Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Preferentially, the nice Asian buffet on the south side of town. Numerically, probably fast food.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
By air: Coastal Maine (about 3,100 miles from our home in California). By road: let's say the Geographic Center of the United States near Lebanon, KS (about 1,500 miles). As of this autumn: Italy, for my sister's wedding.
Who has the craziest exes?
One of hers has been arrested for sexual deviancy. I think she wins.
Who has the worst temper?
In our 3+ years of marriage, we cannot remember a single argument in which either one of us raised our voices. (There has been occasional p/a, snark and a little knife-twisting, but at least we're adult about it and apologize quickly.) I think we both consider ourselves extremely lucky.
Who does the cooking?
"She's a professional chef! He makes food out of boxes! Together, they fight crime!"
Who is the neat-freak?
Neither. We both seem to have about the same loose-but-not-disgusting standards for clutter acceptability and have traded off on "we've gotta clean the place up" binges.
Who is more stubborn?
It's not a clear choice. But I think Kady wins this one by default, because my day job is to help people fix their problems and I cultivate a conflict avoidance that generally carries over to home life.
Who hogs the
Kady certainly doesn't. But she says I do. Lies! By the time I get into bed at night, she's already pulled her half of the covers around herself so they're not draped over the side any more, and then gravity finishes the job on the lopsided fabric.
Who wakes up earlier?
Whoever can't get away with sleeping in. Five days of the week, it's me because I have an office job. We're both night owls.
Where was your first date?
By some metrics, the Scrabble game at her house. By others, the San Francisco courthouse, passing out candy and flowers to newlywed gay and lesbian couples.
Who is more jealous?
Ummm ... Kady, but that's like asking whether Bill Gates or Warren Buffett is poorer; I've never been jealous. It's kinda weird. We keep giving each other permission to be poly and then not actually following up on it.
How long did it take to get serious?
Serious as in emotional investment or serious as in euphemism? Because there was at least a year of us swearing neither one of us had an interest in marriage before we finally had to confront our self-deception.
Who eats more?
Me, due to size if nothing else (6'4" and reasonably high-metabolism).
Who does the laundry?
We've traded off in the past. She works out of home and I generally don't get home until 7 p.m. on weekdays, so by default it's pretty much her now.
Who’s better with the computer?
Me: tech support for an ISP. Her: Former web designer. Round 1: Draw.
Who drives when you are together?
We tend to split down the middle on longer trips, but I probably do 70% of our driving overall.
* Though "Yeti" is a strong contender for my Y.