You would seriously not believe how tough this song is to rewrite. I managed to hit most of the meter and most of the rhymes, though. Had to do a little final polishing work tonight, and there are still a few rough spots.
SAVE A HORSE (Ride a Dragon)
TTTO Big & Rich's "Save A Horse (Ride a Cowboy)"
Well, he rides into my cave
Armored in shiny metal pants
Fry his lance with a glance
All these princes, and not enough romance
Now when someone with a shiny crown comes round
I want to see a pretty gown
Cut way down -- I'm sick of all these one-knight stands.
(CHORUS)
And I take off from my lair
And I fly over the city
Swoop past the castle, where
All the damsels are so pretty.
Gold and jewels won't tempt me,
cause I came for more fun:
(and the maidens say:)
Save a horse, ride a dragon.
Everybody says
Save a horse, ride a dragon.
Well I don't give a dang about treasure
Cause hoardin's oh so borin'
While I could be scorin'
Time to play!
And I've never chained a princess
To a stake outside -- I don't need 'em tied.
Once we take a ride
She will realize why she wants to stay!
(CHORUS)
(Spoken:)
"I'm royal-bred"
That's what she said
"And my dad will have your head"
But we took in the view and flew
straight to my big mountain cave.
She was unprepared,
cold and scared; I set her down and cleaned the whole lair
While she was praying just about as fast as she had ever prayed.
Well, her evaluation
of my dragon reputation
Had her expecting burnination
all night long
But I draped her in jewels I'd won
Showed her how to use a lizard's tongue
The fear wore off, and everyone was having fun
SO WE MADE LOOOVE...
(FINAL CHORUS)
And I take off from my lair
And I fly over the city
Swoop past the castle, where
All the damsels are so pretty.
Gold and jewels won't tempt me,
cause I came for more fun:
(and the maidens say:)
Save a horse, ride a dragon.
(Everybody says:)
Save a horse, ride a dragon.
(Rawr! Rawr!)
Save a horse, ride a dragon.
(Everybody says:)
Save a horse, ride a dragon.