Baxil (baxil) wrote,
Baxil
baxil

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MORE MANLY NEEDED!!

SO THERE's been too many ponies areound here! Ponies are not manly like greek fighters. This is a misteak that must be remediated!

I went to see the movie IMMORTALS and it blew my manhood away! I dunno if you'll see it bcuz you might not own a movie theater, but luckily I am writing the OFFICIAL NOVELLATION of the movie!!! Ok, the 2ND official novellation, because I found a script on the Internet for an earlier version of the movie. I know bcuz the tittle was almost the same.

So I olficially wrote this with official movie plot using the earlier script as a guide!!! I hope ... you enjoy it!

My Immortals

By Trogdor69300

RATED M FOR MANLY SWEARS!!! VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

(AN: AN means Author's Note!!! so now u know)

 
Chapter 1

Hi my name is Theseus Meat'arm Testosticlës McFight Guy and I have big rippling pecs (that's how I got my fist middle name) with leather straps and a spear that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like King Lionidas (AN: if u like purrsins get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Perseus but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. Zeus is my real dad but I don't know that bcuz he cant tell any1. I have manly tanned skin like spartians. I'm also a fighter, and I take sparran lessons from Zues in my village where i dont wanna have girlfriends bcuz every1 hates me (I'm seventeen). I'm angry about being hated bcuz my mom got raped and stuff. So I got so depressed that I became a fighter and converted to spratanism.

For example I was practicing as a fighter one day. I was wearing a leather armor in v shaped stripes. I was wearing black tussled hair to show off my manly face. I was wearing rippled muscles and hot looking like spratan. It was hot and sunny so there was no cold, which I was very happy about bcuz I could take off my cloak and flex my mussels. A lot of soldiers stared at me. I gave them my middle finger.

"Hey Theusus!" shouted a voice. It was ... soldier Lysander!

"Whats up Lysande?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said.

But then, I heard him speak. "Except that your mom is a hour!"


Chapetr 2

"What!" I sneered. "You fucking tell me what you fucking mean you fucker!"

"I mean she got raped!" Lysader grunted. "Like someone put their thing in her you-know-what!"

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!!!" I yelled with my fists. Lysandro drew a sword but I won and took it. Other soldiers cum to save him but they were stopped by .... Cernel Joson! (AN: Doom Reapercousins of Evil rox!!! thanx for the proofredding Peter)

"Cernel, Theseu's mom had sex!!" Lysnader said.

"DAMMIT LIANDER I KILL YOU!!" I SCREAMED!

"No!!" Joson lectured. "Theseis if you kill him ..... it is against the Spratan code of manely honor! U will be Pursian!"

I gasped. I wanted 2 kill Lies-ander so bad for his Lies (AN: get it?? hahahaa) but I knew I couldn't! So I stopped.


Cpahter 3

Joyson said, "MOFG Thisius!! that was the most manly thing I have ever seen. If I was gay I would totally make man love to you, But I'm not. You should join the soldiers bcuz we love Spratanists like u."

But that made me think of my angst. "No cernel!" I said in a depressed voice. "I hate every1 in town bcuz my mom got raped and your Persion army weren't going to let us leave when Hyperion attached!" I ran away with my manly brooding.

"I hope yiu change your mind!" Joson said sexily. "Oh Lilander! I almost frogot. U suck and u insluted Theseus so you are not a soldier now."

"NOOOOOOOOOO" Lysadnor screamed. (AN: fuck him bcuz he was a person and persions deserve it) Then he got expelled 2 join Hyparian.

Hypaxion is a vallian even though he's a Spartianist and hats the gods too. He is looking for the epthrus bow to kill other spartrans and revenge his mom dying from the plague. But now Lysanedr, who is a stupid coward, is under his control.

"Lissaner," Hyparin said. "I don't like u so now I'm going to crush your man parts with a big hammer."

"ok" said Lysainder, who knew he deserved it.


Chapater 4

I didn't hear Lysander scremaing in pain bcuz I was brooding at da tree by da labrianth. I looked at the tree and thought of Zeus and how he taught me to hit the tree with all my angster and manly rage. I thought of a flashback seen, and it was me as a kid with a stick hitting the tree with strong arms and muscles. I was dressed in brown rag pants and had bare feet that showed off my legs. Even as a kid I had the best mucsles of the Spartanists and that's why Zeus wanted to be my dad.

"Thiesius" he said (AN: this is still in the flashbeck, ok??). "U gotta love all the men of Greece."

"But they don't love me," I respawned.

"U gotta anyways!" he begged. "Someone has to stand behind the weak and defianceless!"

"I guess" I said mopingly. "Except I only wanna help Spartanists who are my friends!"

"OK." he said. "Hey, what happened to stupid Liensder?"

"His Presian man balls got crushed." I said with a grin.

But the flashback was over and there was ....... my mom!



AN: I WON'T RAED FLAMES FROM FUCKIN PERSIANS, I'm gettin sick of crap, if you can't be Spratanist GET DA FUCK OUT from my fic! PS I'm not gunna be updating any more umtil I get five good revioews! So if u want more TELL ME WHAT U THINK AS LONG AS IT's good!
Tags: fanfic, my brain now hurts, transcendent masculinity, writing
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