Roses are red
Violets are blue
Oh, my lump in the bed, how I’ve missed you.
Roses are redder
Bluer am I
Seeing you kissed by that charming French guy.
The dogs and the cat, they missed you too
Barney’s still mad you dropped him, he ate your shoe
The distance, my dear, has been such a barrier
Next time you want an adventure, just land on a carrier.
-- President George W. Bush
ALRIGHT. DID YOU VOTE FOR THIS MAN? DID ANY OF YOU VOTE FOR THIS MAN?!? YOU OWE THE WORLD AN APOLOGY. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.
Edit: If you're too lazy to click the link -- This is NOT SATIRE. Yes, this is REAL. This is COMPLETELY VERBATIM. Link via This Modern World, and independently verified via the Associated Press wire.
Much, much later edit: Never mind. :P See this for further explanation.